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The original was posted on /r/AmItheAsshole by /u/NeitherExercise7741 on 2023-09-09 15:26:16.

My son, “Steven” (19) has been getting into trouble with the police for numerous small-time offences like stealing and fighting, which resulted in him getting sent to juvenile for a few months. When he came out he had to check in with probation regularly.

At the probation office, he met a girl, “Lizzie” (21) and they hit it off. She’d just come out after a year inside. Her family are very well off, but they kicked her out so she was living in a hostel. She was only there temporarily and had nowhere to go after that, so with my permission Steven offered her to come and stay with us.

When Lizzie first moved in it was tough for her. She’s used to quite a comfortable lifestyle and was hoping to return to one when she came out, but she settled in quickly.

I gave Steven one more chance after he came home, and fair to him, he’s managed to get a job labouring on a building site.

Lizzie however has refused to get a job. Before she got arrested she was studying for a degree, and sees jobs like cleaning or admin work as beneath her. She’s trying to find an entry-level job in the field she was studying, but has had no success.

This is a bit of a problem, as even with me and Steven working, we only just make enough to cover the rent, food and bills. More than once we’ve had to go days without hot water.

Lizzie became pregnant a few months back and decided to keep the baby, which Steven is fully supporting. I’m happy for them, but this will give us another mouth to feed. I said that as soon as the baby is born (if both mother and baby are healthy of course), I expect Lizzie to take any job available. I work as a cleaner in evenings and nights so am around in the daytime to take care of the baby while Stephen and Lizzie work.

I told them that if Lizzie refuses, they can look for a place of their own.

This made Lizzie cry, and say she doesn’t want to do a “soul destroying” job because she used to have a bright future ahead of her. I understand this and it’s unfortunate, but I’ve worked shitty jobs all my life, and this building site job is the first Stephen ever had. Living where we do, shitty jobs are a part of life, and we won’t be able to provide her baby with a comfortable home if she doesn’t get one.

AITA?