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The original was posted on /r/AmItheAsshole by /u/InterestingMap6360 on 2023-09-09 13:27:25.

My brother has two kids. His son Jory is 15 and his daughter Emily is 7. Jory’s mom died weeks after Emily was born. My brother and Jory’s mom were long since divorced and he primarily lived with her until her death. Jory went through a lot in a very short period of time. Jory’s maternal family are a very present part of Jory’s life. This was something my brother and his wife disapproved of but allowed because my parents and I told them it was not about them or Emily but about Jory and how he lost his mom.

Their attitude did not change and it did influence Emily somewhat, I believe. She adores Jory and is very jealous that he goes away for hours and sometimes overnight to be with his family. She’s jealous that he’s not someone who keeps photos but has one of his mom in his room, in a special frame. Mostly she’s a little girl who wants her older (half) brother’s attention. She thinks he’s the greatest person in the world. But sometimes I feel like she hears too much of what her parents think.

Two months ago there was an incident at my brother’s house. Jory didn’t want to spend time with Emily and was reading a letter his mom wrote to him before she died. Emily pushed and was told to get out of his room. She was angry and from what I can piece together my brother and his wife did not talk her down. When Jory left the room Emily went inside and broke the frame and tore up the photo of Jory’s mom. Jory walked in as she was still tearing the photo up.

Jory yelled at Emily and Emily cried and said was mad and wanted him to spend time with her but he picked a letter over her. My brother walks in and tells Jory to stop yelling at his sister and goes to console Emily. Both my brother and his wife decide it’s not a big issue. Jory disagrees and they argue. Emily went back to Jory’s room later and says she’s sorry but Jory ignores her and she cried and said she just wanted him to not love his mom more. He told her he didn’t love her and would always love his mom more and he would never forgive her for what she did, that he did not want her as his sister and she needed to get out of his room and not speak to him again.

Things got intense between my brother and Jory and Jory left and went to stay with his maternal grandparents. My brother tried to stop him but his wife said she didn’t want Jory around Emily if he was going to be so hateful.

Jory is still with his grandparents. My brother thought Jory would have “seen sense” and calmed down. I said he couldn’t expect Jory to see it as a minor issue. My brother was like I couldn’t seriously be blaming a 7 year old for acting out the way she did. I said no, I blamed him and his wife, that they are the parents and handled it all badly and likely fed into Emily’s jealousy with their attitude that Jory shouldn’t see his family. I said I hold them accountable for that and then for acting like Jory had no right to be mad.

My brother believes I’m the one who is wrong and being an ass to him and his wife.

AITA?