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The original was posted on /r/AmItheAsshole by /u/Infinite_Bathroom_81 on 2023-09-09 10:07:20.
My sister was married to Toby for 6 years. They had two kids together in that time. My niece is now 9 and my nephew is now 8. They divorced pretty soon after the kids were born. Toby has remained single but my sister remarried 3 years ago. She has a stepdaughter from her husband’s past relationship and they have custody of his niece as well. They also had a baby together 2 months ago. My sister and Toby share custody of their kids.
Toby is better off financially than my sister. He pays child support for the kids and he covers all medical expenses per their court order. But Toby can still afford to treat them and buy them stuff they want. According to my sister they have “fancy lunchboxes” whatever that means, they have gaming consoles and laptops at their dads house. He takes them fun places and can pay for a birthday party wherever they want. He’ll also buy them nice clothes and shoes. I never saw the problem with this but my sister said it caused some tension in their house because the girls are jealous of what her kids have and are jealous of the fact they have much better birthday parties than them.
My sister actually told Toby he needs to start ensuring that her other kids have the same things. She said he’s making sure their kids together will never bond with their stepsister, step cousin and half brother by making it clear they have more. She told him he also needs to invite those kids to the parties he throws for their kids. Toby told her no and said it was her job to worry about her other kids but he’s not doing a single thing for the rest of her kids.
My sister has been pretty ragey since he refused and she complains about it a lot. Eventually she told me all about it when it was just the two of us and she mentioned how she wants Toby to basically pay money for the girls and her new son and that she wants him to buy them gifts and let the kids she shares with him bring the stuff he buys them to her house so everyone can get a use out of them. She said it’s selfish for him to not care about the other kids. She claims he has a responsibility. I said she was sounding very entitled with that attitude and she needs to understand she’s responsible for more than two kids but Toby? He only has two and is only responsible for those two.
My sister said it’s not entitled to expect people to put the kids first and fuck me.
AITA?