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The original was posted on /r/AmItheAsshole by /u/JynxMama on 2023-09-09 02:16:56.

I have a standard gift that I give to anyone who sends us a graduation announcement (like high school, trade school college etc.) I’ve given this version of the gift for over ten years.

It is a toolbox and in it are the following A hammer 2 screwdrivers (one Phillips head, one flat head) An 8” crescent wrench A set of needle nose pliers A 25’ tape measure A $50 visa gift card And a small box on condoms.

I buy pretty much everything in bulk and usually have a box or two in my closet for emergency gifts. I work with a lot of young people through my job, my church, and my volunteer work. And I am the parent on two young adults, both of whom got one of these when they went to college. I give these to everyone regardless of gender.

I’ve probably given over 50 of these over the years and have never had anyone mention a concern to me. In fact, i’m kind of notorious for this gift and have had grown ass adults ask for these for their birthdays.

This spring, I received a graduation announcement from one of the kids at our church. I don’t know the parents well but have taken the kid on a couple of retreats. Because we were going to be out of town most of the summer, I brought the gift to church and left it with our minister (who is well aware of what is in the box) to give to the kid next time they attended.

And then I forgot about it. Cause, life…

We were gone most of the summer and when we returned a bunch f stuff happened and I still haven’t been back to church. While I was in Target today, I saw the mom. Waved hi, kept going. I had stuff to do.

I’m grabbing an item off the shelf and when I turn around, the mom is right in front of me. And she is pissed.

She starts in on me with that terse white woman whisper yelling: What was I thinking? How could I give such an offensive gift to her darling child? How could I call myself a Christian and condone sex for her child?

Mind you, this kid is at least 18.

I was gobsmacked; a. because she chewed me out in a fucking Target and b. I gave that gift almost 3 months ago so she’s been sitting on this mad for awhile.

In all the years I have given this gift I have never had this response. So should I stop giving this gift?

Edit to clarify a few points:

  1. The condom packet contains three condoms and it is always at the bottom of the toolbox. I get them from the local health department. It’s not a massive box of Trojans.
  2. I have had parents and recipients ask me about the condoms. They are included with the thought that you need the right tool for the job. And to always be safe. Prior to today, I have never had anyone express anger with my gift.
  3. Every box comes with a letter and each letter is individual to the recipient. I have to know someone pretty well before I give them a gift that on average costs me over $100. If I had any concerns about how the condoms would be received, I would definitely not include them in the box.

Thank you to those of you who read my entire post and responded in thoughtful and respectful ways. You have given me much food for thought.