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The original was posted on /r/AmItheAsshole by /u/Chqrliq on 2023-09-08 19:47:33.
My sister (28F) recently announced that she’s having a destination wedding in a tropical paradise. Sounds amazing, right? Well, here’s the catch: she expects everyone to pay for their own travel and accommodations.
Now, I (32F) love my sister and want to support her, but attending this wedding would be a huge financial burden for me. I’ve been saving up for a down payment on a house, and the cost of the trip would set me back significantly.
When I told my sister that I couldn’t afford to go, she got really upset and accused me of not caring about her happiness. She even said that I’m being selfish for prioritizing my financial goals over her big day.
I tried explaining my situation and suggesting alternative ways to celebrate her wedding, like throwing her a local reception or helping with wedding planning, but she wasn’t having any of it.
Yesterday, I found out she had been telling our extended family, who were also going to the wedding, that I had refused to pay for my share and told her that she was a “snobby brat” for making everyone pray for themselves to go to her wedding. My phone has been blowing up with texts and calls either defending me or calling me rude, a brat or selfish.
Now I’m feeling guilty and torn. On one hand, I don’t want to miss my sister’s special day, but on the other hand, I don’t want to sacrifice my financial stability. AITA for refusing to attend her destination wedding?