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The original was posted on /r/twoxchromosomes by /u/100000nopes on 2023-09-08 07:00:43.
I broke up with my BF of about 4 years Saturday for not pulling his weight. It started after an argument Saturday when he randomly comes up to me unprompted and decided to “make sure I didn’t trade my meds.” I did this 2-3 times in the past with a friend. My prescribed Xanax swopped for pain pills. I took full accountability and haven’t done it in years. We argued and I ended up snapping and broke up with him after the topic shifted to a general discussion about how unhappy I was. I said he was a man child that made me carry all the weight. I make twice as much money, manage all the bills, I do all the cooking and cleaning and he spends 90% of his off time playing video games, never wants to go anywhere with me. We haven’t been on an actual date in over 6 months. This is the story that started the beginning of the end:
Around Christmas of last year, he went to go to work, but his car wouldn’t start. So I brought him to work and figured we’d jump it when he got home or the next day. He proceeds to put off the 15 minutes it would take to jump his car for over a week. In the mean, time he’d either Uber to work or I’d take him (I refused to bring him in the morning after the 3rd time b/c I’m I didn’t like waking up early) After me nagging him several times we attempt to jump it after a week but it doesn’t work. I then suggest we go to Auto Zone or wherever to get a car battery and change it and if that’s not it have it towed to a mechanic. He refused this insisting it’s “dangerous and we can get electrocuted” I told him that there are plenty of people who do this and tried to show him YT vidoes but he wouldn’t back down. He said he “knows someone at work and he will get them to come look at it” then nothing.
MONTHS go by, he Ubers to work and he convinces one or twice a week to pick him up (my fault for not being stern enough I admit). One day I’m at the grocery store and I see a Triple A car ad on the vehicle next to me. I Google it, read that they do roadside battery changes and text him a picture. He kind of dismissed it and says he might look into it.
Then one day in April I have a couple friends come to the city and we want to go downtown to some festival or whatever and I ask him. Hey can my friends park here and you run us to the city so we don’t have to ride around forever and pay like 25 for parking? They lived an hour away, I live 10 min away from downtown. He releuctsntly agrees but when the time comes he says “I’ll just pay for y’all Uber. Because I’m doing X online with my friend (his enabling, gaming addicted, nearly 40-year-old, single friend who lives with his Mom that my ex always catered his life around). I tell him “don’t bother” I ask them if they can pick me up instead because ex doesn’t want to, they do and surprise surprise, it takes us 30+ min to find a spot and costs over $20. His logic was “what difference does it make? I said I’d pay.” I told him it’s fucking embarrassing that my live-in BF couldn’t put the controller down for 20 minutes round trip to do his GF a favor. And us cramming into the back of an Uber on his dime, doesn’t undo how pathetic that is. Maybe I’m wrong but he had two days off in a row. I let him know ahead of time and at this point I had went get him from work over 10 times. After that I said “I’m never getting you from work again. Fix your fucking car.”
This was April. It STILL sat there for another two months ignored. Who knows how much he spent on Uber at this point. So what finally got him to do it was one of our neighbors reported the car as “abandoned” to the city. And the city put several stickers all over saying “move this vehicle or it will be towed in 72 hours” and they also circled his inspection sticker that has been expired since 2019. I bring up that he needs to do this NOW, so let’s go to Autozone, text that person you work with or call Triple A. He says he will contact the friend. Two days of nothing goes by, it’s the final day and I say to call Triple A, he says “but he has work” and I ask him what his plan is. He shrugs and literally says “I’m so sick of this the city can just take it.” My jaw drops and I walk away. I’m contemplating breaking up with him and taking my rent and going live under the bridge. (We don’t have friends or family who live in the city and money is too tight for an Air Bnb or hotel.) He sees I’m visibly upset and finally says “okay, what’s the number to that place? I’ll tell work I’ll be late” and in June of 2023 he finally gets his car battery changed.
TLDR: BF of 4 years doesn’t work for 1st two years, finally gets job making $12 an hour, I make about $50k a year the whole time, I do 95% of the cooking and cleaning. His car breaks down and it takes 6 months to fix it. I emotionally detach after he won’t drive my friends and I to a festival and start saving money to move out, I break it off this week after an argument that started out of nowhere of my extremely occasional drug abuse.