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The original was posted on /r/twoxchromosomes by /u/Immaslaywhatiwant on 2023-09-07 01:36:09.

My now ex and I were together for 6 months and he was my first bf. I genuinly thought he was the sweetest, kindest man in the world. He would tell me about all the things he loved about me every single day, he made me little care packages when I was going through finals, he introduced me to all his friends and family, including his mom and grandma who absolutely love me, he reassured me and comforted me regarding really deep wounds in my self esteem, he told me he wanted to spend the rest of his life with me once he comes back, everyone thought we were a great couple and that he was so sweet.

I was preparing an extremely thoughtful amd elaborate gift for him for when he’d come back in 10 months and for that I needed info from how we met I didn’t remember in full detail, so I downloaded Hinge again and when I saw his profile, I felt like I wanted to throw up.

His location was changed to his new town abroad and he had updated his status on what he was looking for. I confronted him with my findings in tears and he called me. He told me how sorry he is and how everything he ever told me about his feelings was true and that he just was stupid and bored so he got the app and said he supposedly deleted it right away and never intended to meet anyone.

Part of me wanted to believe him and have the man back that I fell in love with, but the rational part recognized that this man I loved never existed. He was a facade. This was DAYS after he left me at the airport and he knew I was at home crying because I missed him so much, but he went ahead and went back to online dating because he was BORED?! He would have NEVER done that to me if he loved me and if he truly was the kind, empathetic person I thought he was.

I feel like it was all a lie to manipulate me and have me as his loyal gf back at home he can come back to after he had his fun in Dublin. I can’t believe a word out of his mouth anymore and it all feels like empty lines now. All the times I cried tears of joy because I felt so loved and cared for which I never felt before make me feel so stupid looking back.

I wish I didn’t have my first time with him and I wish I hadn’t spent the last 6 months falling in love with him.

Of course noone ever should cheat on anybody, but this feels so extra absurd because I thought I had everything he could want. I’m conventionally attractive, I’m a smart, funny and kind person, we had great sex, I made him really thoughtful gifts to make him feel loved and special because I wanted to give him back what I felt he was giving me. I really thought I don’t deserve him because of how well he treated me, but now I realise he’s the one who doesn’t deserve me because I was loyal and genuinly cared for him and he took the first chance to cheat on me as soon as he left.

I’m just so fucking angry and I feel so stupid. I know it’s naïve, but I really thought I was gonna marry this man because everything was so perfect.

Tbh I’m being a little petty, but I feel like I’ve been wronged, so he needs a little punishing, so I messaged his sister asking if she knew if he cheated on me with anyone since we just broke up because I found out he was setting up to cheat in Dublin and I kind of want his sister to maybe believe me and chew him out. I think she knew I’m a good person and I don’t think she’d expect this from her brother.

I’m also thinking on whether I should go drive his stuff to his grandma’s sometime where he’s storing his stuff rn just to have am opportunity to let her know what her grandson did to mess up the relationship she was rooting for. Part of me just wants it to be known to everyone close to him what’s behind the sweet facade.

It all feels so surreal because I never saw any of this coming. I thought we we’re gonna make it through those months and then live happily ever after. Part of me still wants to do that but I know I can’t because I can never trust him again and he doesn’t care for me truly and he doesn’t deserve a second chance.

I’ve never been so sad and so angry…and never so scared of love. How can I ever trust a man again after this? I mean he concealed it perfectly, I only found out by coincidence and he made me believe he loved me so easily 😭