This is an automated archive made by the Lemmit Bot.

The original was posted on /r/cfb by /u/Nuclear_Testicle on 2025-05-29 17:27:19+00:00.


The landscape of college football is as follows

  • All games are pay per minute to watch
  • Pat McAfee has been arrested for running a children’s fight club
  • Jordan Hudson has moved UNC to Los Angeles
  • Saban gets caught with a .44 magnum on Game Day waiting for Shane Gillis to make his appearance
  • Kirby Smart is hired by Team Penske
  • We find out Ryan Day has a peanut allergy
  • The University of Hawaii is in the B1G
  • The overtime rules are somehow worse
  • Purdue Pete is on the FBI’s most wanted list and gone missing
  • Oregon changes their duck mascot to have a rocket engine in its ass
  • Missouri gets the death penalty for Auburn beating Alabama