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The original was posted on /r/twoxchromosomes by /u/hoychoyminoynoy on 2023-09-06 08:07:02.
My husband and I got into a huge fight yesterday. It started off in a teasing way, he said something along the lines of— “maybe when we have a second baby it’ll be baked better than the first one” and when I told him how absolutely hurtful that was and he should never ever say that in front of our son, he retorted with “well, your sister was baked better than you and your parents like her better to boot”. He then started laughing at the absolute hurt on my face and said I needed to lighten up because he was just joking.
Long story short: he has a history of gaslighting/ emotionally abusive behavior. He’s always finding small ways to tell me how I’m not good enough- especially when I try to better myself. I recently started going to the gym and lifting again and he has been amping up these comments.
Today, while he was at work (I’m a SAHM), I decided that I was going to try and go back to work because I wanted to explore the idea of leaving him for good. Plus- he has control of all our finances and had frozen the credit cards, which I found out about when I tried to buy bibs on Amazon for our son. So when he came home, I walked downstairs and asked him if he could find 3 days in his schedule to stay at home and care for our son while I went back to work. He laughed without looking at me and continued to play video games. Then said “Well if you want to go back to work, you better figure out a way to pay for childcare”. When I pointed out how our son was both our responsibility and that if it came to childcare- we could both contribute, he screamed at the top of his lungs I AM FINISHED TALKING TO YOU. I was really frustrated at this point so I did something I’m not proud of- I pushed the TV onto the ground. He then got up, screamed at me again, took both our dogs, and drove off in the family car- which contains our sons car seat and stroller.
Without transportation and without a way to carry our infant, without money and without family, I am really at a loss for what to do. I am literally trapped in my own home. I want to leave him so bad but the only reason I’ve stayed is because I’m afraid of what will happen to our son if we get divorced and he gets shared custody. He is downright negligent when left alone with our son in the few times I’ve had to leave them alone and I’m afraid for my sons safety. But at the same time I’m afraid that I won’t be able to prove all this without a shadow of a doubt in court and he will get custody anyway.
Feeling so scared and alone. I have no support from family