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The original was posted on /r/AmItheAsshole by /u/doveclyn on 2023-09-05 22:32:58.
My Dad and I both took out student loans for my undergraduate degree. I took out 40k and he took out a parent plus loan of 20k to cover my housing and food. I worked through college to pay my remaining expenses and bills. After college I got married and bought a house and not soon after that COVID happened along with the student loan freezes.
My husband and I both work full-time, but he makes double what I do. I wasn’t feeling fulfilled in my career or making near what I wanted so when I was laid off 3.5 years later I decided to go for my graduate degree. I just started my Masters program two weeks ago so my student loans are on hold until 6 months after I graduate so roughly 2.5 years from now.
The financial aid freeze has ended though for parent plus loans and now my dad is suddenly saying he expects me to pay those since mine are put off until later and since “we’re obviously doing well enough that we could afford a house and for me to go back to school”. He also says he cant afford to pay them and I’ll ruin his credit if I don’t pay them for him.
I don’t want to be a horrible person, but my dad always just came in and out of my life. I’ve seen him twice in the last 3 years for about 8h combined and the rest of his contact is through texts - sporadic racist rants and anti-woke memes. The plus loan was the nicest thing he ever did for me. My mom pretty much raised me herself as he was always too busy or “broke” to pick me up for a weekend.
Am I the asshole if I tell him no I’m not going to pay his parent plus loan despite it being for my education?