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The original was posted on /r/AmItheAsshole by /u/Wandering_aimlessly9 on 2023-09-05 17:18:13.
So here is the gist…my parents don’t like rules/boundaries. They think they have the ultimate say in regards to my children. Ex: during the pandemic they diagnosed our little with celiac. They had been following a gluten free diet for our oldest so we didn’t think anything of it. Long story short we found out (by my dad’s own admission) that they had been giving my little gluten bc I want them to be like me and be sick (eye roll) and if you take a food away for a long time that’s how people develop allergies (eye roll). We did a time out so I could cool off. Then we had a come to Jesus meeting where I laid down the law. They agreed to the rules. Any deviation would result in no more unsupervised visits from the kids. Well…10 months later I found out my dad has had a heart attack and was in congestive heart failure. They hid it for…10 months. Blah blah blah. He’s fine. They are “justified” because I wouldn’t have let the kids go with my dad (him driving) and they “have a right” to the kids. He also blamed me for his heart attack (when it was really 2-3 McDonald’s meals every day when he was working, 350 pounds and a sedentary lifestyle, constant sugar intake, and an overall unhealthy lifestyle that lead to his CHF and heart attack.) I reminded them one of the criteria during the gluten discussion was no lying. My dad said it wasn’t a lie bc they didn’t tell us. I reminded him he raised me that leaving out important facts was lying by omission and this fit that criteria. Then there was him saying I was bitter and trying to control them. I put us in another time out bc I needed a break and that when the time out was over…there would only be supervised visits. He still contacted me each week to see if he was coming to get the girls. I ignored bc…time out. Finally he mentions my nephew acting as if something is wrong only to find out…nephew wants to know when my kids are coming back.
Unexpectedly in the middle of the time out…my husband got a job and we are moving out of state. Ouch. (This has NOTHING to do with my parents. The timing was an unfortunate consequence.) Here is the catch. A few weeks before the pandemic started my husband discussed a possible move out of the country for his job…that crumbled when the pandemic hit obviously. However leading up to it my parents were throwing a fit “how could you do that to us” “we have rights to see our grandchildren” “family comes first no matter what” “you are hurting the children by not letting them have regular access to their family” and my favorite “we can sue for grandparent rights.” (In our state grandparents have no rights if the parents are married. I don’t know about the state we are moving to.)
I don’t want to deal with the accusations. I don’t want to deal with the fight. I just want it done and over with. So AITA for doing it by text and not a call?