This is an automated archive made by the Lemmit Bot.
The original was posted on /r/cfb by /u/Pollaski on 2023-09-05 17:12:03.
The Tank Job of the Week is an award for the FBS team that did the best job of humiliating itself over the weekend. Whether they blew a large lead, choked away a spot in the limelight, lost a game they had absolutely no right losing, or completely screwed everything on a last second blunder, the TJOTW winner sets the gold standard in college football misery.
Finally, college football is back! Did you miss it? The late summer air. The smell of all sorts of meats and treats sizzling on the grill. The sights of the pageantry, and all those fresh uniforms glistening in the sun/stadium lights.
And of course, the sound of thousands of screaming fans as they watched the team they pined for over the last eight months immediately plummet off the side of a cliff.
WERE BACK, BABY!
Alright, one more time for posterity, here’s the 2022 Winners
WEEK 1: Virginia Tech Hokies (lost to Old Dominion 20-17)
WEEK 2: Texas A&M Aggies (Appalachian State 17-14)
WEEK 3: Northwestern Wildcats (Southern Illinois 31-24)
WEEK 4: Miami-FL Hurricanes (Middle Tennessee 45-31)
WEEK 5: Oklahoma Sooners (TCU 55-24)
WEEK 6: 0klah0ma S00ners (Texas 49-0) <2022 ULTIMATE TANK J0B>
WEEK 7: Notre Dame Fighting Irish (Stanford 16-14)
WEEK 8: Miami-FL Hurricanes (Duke 45-24)
WEEK 9: 0klah0ma State C0wb0ys (Kansas State 48-0)
WEEK 10: Miami-FL Hurricanes (Florida State 45-3)
WEEK 11: Kentucky Wildcats (Vanderbilt 24-21)
WEEK 12: Tennessee Volunteers (South Carolina 63-38)
WEEK 13: Oregon Ducks (Oregon State 38-34)
WEEK 14: USC Trojans (Utah 47-24)
BOWLS: USC Trojans (Tulane 46-45)
YEAR: Texas A&M Aggies (5-7)
And yeah, your eyes don’t deceive you- Oklahoma being blanked in the Red River Shootout actually beat out Tennessee being Rattlered out of a sure-fire playoff spot for the Ultimate award by three votes. I consider that an upset, if I’m being honest.
Alright, onto 2023. And boy did we get a doozy of a week to kick us off!
NOTE: For Ease of Counting, please use carats in your vote, like this: . Thank you, and thanks for participating!
HONORABLE MENTION: I don’t think Florida really deserves a nomination, because while it was brutal and their fans are furious, it was on the road to an incredibly good team and it wasn’t exactly a blowout- in fact the Gators actually outgained Utah. But there’s also a karmic element here so let’s just say it’s a lil ah honorable mention.
And now, the nominees for Week 1 are…
ARKANSAS STATE RED WOLVES (lost to Oklahoma 73-0)
Maybe I’m being a bit harsh here, because Arkansas State was a 36-point underdog. But they’re still an FBS team, and they got the bottom-rung FCS treatment in this one. Also, I think Butch Jones’ soul might have been snapped in two.
ARMY BLACK KNIGHTS (lost to LA-Monroe 17-13)
Army entered the game 9 point favorites, and seemed well on their way to finishing when they punted back to ULM up 10 with just 6 minutes left. But then the Warhawks got all sixty-two yards in a single play, Army fumbled the ball back, and the Warhawks took the lead. Black Knights final two possessions ended on an interception and a fumble, making it three straight turnovers to end the game and literally hand it to Monroe.
BAYLOR BEARS (lost to Texas State 42-31)
Considering the ESPN alert announcing the upset called them the Bulldogs instead of the Bobcats, it’s a fair assumption that Texas State doesn’t get too much respect. It hasn’t exactly been undeserved- the boys from San Marcos haven’t won more than four games in a season since 2014 and consistently rank towards the bottom of the FBS. That didn’t stop them from walking into Waco and boatracing the Bears for their biggest win in program history, however. Baylor went down 15 early and struggled to even stay in the game as the Bobcats continued to pile on points.
BOSTON COLLEGE EAGLES (lost to Northern Illinois 27-24)
Eagles were eight point favorites entering the game, but stalled out on offense and let Northern Illinois take a 14-0 lead in the third quarter. They did battle back to force overtime, and even took the lead on a field goal, but the NIU punched it in, and punched the Eagles out of the win column.
CLEMSON TIGERS (lost to Duke 28-7)
Tigers rolled into Durham as thirteen point faves, and looked poised to take the game over after a lackluster half still saw them up 7-6 at the break. But then Riley Leonard scampered for the go-ahead score, and every attempt to strike back ended in epic failure for the Tigers (two deep fumbles and a shanked 21-yard field goal), giving the Blue Devils the momentum they needed to turn this from a shocker to a laugher down the stretch.
LSU TIGERS (lost to Florida State 45-24)
LSU came into Sunday night’s game expecting a heavyweight slugfest rematch against the Seminoles, and for two and a half quarters, that’s exactly what it looked like we were going to get. But then LSU melted down, let FSU rattle off 31 consecutive points, and needed a last minute garbage time TD to just close the gap to a respectable 21 points.
NEBRASKA CORNHUSKERS (lost to Minnesota 13-10)
Admit it, the moment the ball left Anthony Grant’s hands with less than five minutes to go and Nebraska up seven, you knew how Matt Rhule’s debut was going to end. Everyone knew how it was going to end. That’s now five in a row for the Gophers over the Huskers. Meet the new boss, same as the old boss.
TCU HORNED FROGS (lost to Colorado 45-42)
Maybe… maybe Colorado might actually be good this year. And maybe… maybe TCU is taking at least a step back after losing much of what miraculously took them to the National Championship last year. But this is still a one-win team that’s a 21-point underdog coming into the national runner-up’s stadium and outshooting them, particularly considering the defensive effort on Colorado’s winning touchdown.
TEXAS TECH RED RAIDERS (lost to Wyoming 35-33)]
The Raiders were a bit miffed about being snubbed in the AP rankings to start the season and looked to make an example of Wyoming. And they looked to be doing just that, going up 17-0 in the first quarter and easily covering the 13 points they were favored. Only… they didn’t keep it up over the last forty-five minutes and the Cowboys rattled off 20 straight to force a late Tech FG to even get to overtime. From there, it was a magical fourth down conversion from Andrew Peasley to set up the winning two point play