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The original was posted on /r/twoxchromosomes by /u/lilith_fae on 2023-09-05 16:46:18.
I’ve always had bad self esteem. Sexually I have always convinced myself that the other person must find me attractive or acceptable to want to be with me. I have even imagined myself as more “sexy” in their eyes than I feel. I have gone through patches where I feel totally undesirable and have in those instances avoided intimacy. I was then in a long term relationship where the person desired me sexually but never voiced it or complimented my physical appearance. Eventually I found myself not wanting to be intimate with them. I told them several times that if they made me feel desirable it would change my mindset. While I recognize this was unfair, it makes me wonder: would you be more interested in sex if your partner complimented you more? Would you orgasm more freely if you felt truly desired?