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The original was posted on /r/AmItheAsshole by /u/throwawaythechanges on 2023-09-04 20:35:40.
I 25f am having a conflict with my husbands sister 36f. She is getting married in 2 weeks and her dress code is incredibly complicated to adhere to for me. It is black tie, long sleeves and floor length gowns. The conflict happened because I am currently 34 weeks pregnant and overheat very quickly, and the wedding is entirely outside, in the middle of the day, in the southern USA where it is incredibly hot, I cannot be in a long sleeve floor length gown in the heat for 8 hours.
I have sent her a few dresses to try to compromise which I will link in the comments for further information but she is completely adamant about exactly what she wants.
I told her yesterday that I cannot attend her wedding if she is not going to budge even slightly on the dress code. I told her she has the right to have her wedding exactly how she wants it, for it to be her perfect day but I have the right to look out for my own health.
She freaked out at me and told me I was being incredibly selfish and that “for once it isn’t about me and my fucking baby” which she only said because she’s jealous I’m having the first grandchild and she felt like she should have had a baby before me and my husband.
Since then my husbands side of the family has told me I’m being selfish and to just compromise one day to keep the peace. I don’t think I should need to compromise my health for her wedding.
Am I the asshole and being unreasonable?
Edit: here are a few examples of the dresses I offered to wear