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The original was posted on /r/AmItheAsshole by /u/LaughingHousemateTA on 2023-09-04 07:09:37.
I’ve (31F) live in a share-house. One of the housemates Jack (M30) has never lived with a woman outside of his mother but likes to say that he is “aware” of women’s issues and calls himself a feminist. For instance he doesn’t agree with the saying “no uterus no opinion” because “It’s my job to be informed about any issues that could affect me if I become a father or husband”…Which is fine until it came to this issue.
So, like most biological women, I have periods. I however, cannot use tampons or cups due to a condition called vaginismus. It’s pads all the time for me - yay.
I also (I know, the shock!) shower during this time! Wow! I prepare a new pad onto a clean pair of undies, shower as normal, dry myself off in the shower, and then step straight into the undies. And obviously check the bathroom for mess. Jack’s never complained - nor has anyone else, so I figured my “system” was working.
Cue today; and I can’t shower for 48 hours due to a heart monitor test. I was jokingly complaining about how I was going to “survive” without my nightly shower and Jack looked up confused and said “How is this any different to when you’re on your period?” I asked him what he meant and he said “well, you can’t shower on your period unless you use a tampon” and I laughed because I thought he was joking - he has shown before that he was at least SEMI educated on women - which he got angry at.
Jack said “wait - well what do you do?” and I said slowly “I shower?” - I wasn’t getting it I’m afraid. Jack said “without protecting MY bathroom?” (he does not own the house) and then went off. Apparently my period is unhygienic, it can cause infection if left on the shower floor, and he was under the impression I hadn’t been showering for a week when I had my period or using tampons. I said that due to reasons I can’t use tampons and he told me then I’m “banned” from showering when I’m on my period which I laughed again at which I did apologise for and say “I’m sorry for laughing - but the audacity of that statement”.
I told Jack he has no way of enforcing this - nor would I be sticking to this, and he said “fine. Then every time you shower, you need to bleach the bathroom afterwards” to which I couldn’t help but laugh again - apologising - but saying “We’re in a share-house. That’s not reasonable when other people need to shower/use the toilet, and considering I’m sure at least SOMEBODY else pees in the shower, is ridiculous to only enforce on me”.
I brought that up and he said “nobody does that - I’ve never heard of that in my life”. So I just had to walk away. Jack’s been complaining to other housemates about this and saying that we need to “watch out for me” and we all just think he’s absurd for ‘banning’ me, but a couple think that I should just at least try and compromise so I’m confused. AITA?