This is an automated archive made by the Lemmit Bot.

The original was posted on /r/twoxchromosomes by /u/lothalian on 2023-09-04 02:08:21.

We’ve been in a relationship for 1 year, and we’re initially planning on long distancing, as we’re off to grad school.

Between us directly, there’s been no conflict. But external factors? More conflict than you could ask for.

External factors = his mother.

At a period of time, she tried incredibly hard to convince him to break up with me, popping out reasons against my family, stating my higher standing on income would make him a house husband, I was “fake beautiful” because I use makeup and wax, I’m “too pricey.” Mind you, I’ve never asked him to buy me anything, and with that he has never actually bought me anything. I had no intention of harboring him as a house husband. I cared about him, that included his career, his comfort, his preferences. Everything I did buy, that I was deemed “too pricey” for, was out of my own income. The fact that she thought she had a say in that, struck me as an incredible red flag.

At some point, this got so bad that she threatened to back out of his college tuition, if he doesn’t break up with me. Next day, he comes up to me and requests to breakup with me. I stood my ground, and we decided we’d keep the relationship under wraps, a secret.

Cut it to 6 months from then, and we’re here now, back in the same problem. Here, he says he cannot lie to his mother anymore, and he still cares about me, and loves me, but needs to walk away to satisfy her and keep her trust, because he promised to her he wouldn’t lie a few days ago. The worst part of all this? we cried in each other’s arms, he gave me his bracelet, and he said he’ll always be here and he loves me. In fact, he promised me that he wouldn’t let something like that make him back out again. What happened to keeping this promise?

I’m incredibly frustrated. We had a future planned together, and the reason he gave me just did not seem reasonable enough for us to throw all of this away. Not to mention, him stating he still loves me, and very much continuing to be romantic with me, is an incredibly prick move. He says he’ll never date until his parents give him permission, but I don’t think he realizes that does not give him the right to hold me back from moving on. I’m half indian, and granted, my parents are both much more laid back, and stern when they need to be, but trust that I can really only learn the things I need to learn when I learn on my own. They don’t like him, specifically for the reason that he harbors that unhealthy relationship with his mother, which i hear is common amongst indian men raised primarily conservative. I would always put up a fight for him though. I love my parents, but truth is I love him too, and I would never back out on him as easily as he backed out on me.

I’m trying to talk to him, and convince him to work together to walk through this problem , like we always have.

But i’m lost now, so I came here. Any advice?