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The original was posted on /r/twoxchromosomes by /u/AgreeableElevator67 on 2023-09-04 01:27:15.
As I’m sitting here watching “Twelve Forever” (Netflix) with my 7yo daughter, an old memory was triggered, something I didn’t even know would be stored in my brain to be recalled around 20 years later.
The Netflix show seems to be a coming of age/puberty show, and one particular scene a book is being thumbed through and the character says, “nipple hair! Ohh menstrual cramps. Cramps are caused by…”
Instantly I remembered The Care & Keeping of YOU and I had to google it to see if my memory of this book was even accurate. I remember almost everything in this book. It was my secret bible, only read in private. I also just ordered a copy for some reason. I had such a strong emotional response, probably because this book (and the little health ed lessons in school) were essentially my only source of learning about puberty.
I specifically remember the day my health class was sent home with two pads, a mini deodorant, and an index sized info card as our “period kit”. The school must’ve informed our parents, because the same day my mom (she’s actually my step mom), came to my room with The Care & Keeping of YOU and made her best attempt to speak to me about puberty.
I don’t blame her, I had a very unique and traumatic childhood, especially before her. My biological mom kidnapped me for 2 years, was a mentally ill drug addict, and neglected me. It was moderately better with her, though my biological dad (they were married) was an alcoholic that brought it’s own trauma. I was not receptive to this puberty talk and I was very uncomfortable (as I was with almost any conversation). My step mom (I call her mom) is truly a saint, and I feel so bad for not allowing the mother-daughter bond to really form. I’m 30 now and we’re close, but not like I’ve always yearned for.
This BOOK that I completely forgot about represents so much and I just need to get this out. I feel sadness, regret, glee (I am happy I had her and not my bio mom 100%), and fear. I’m sitting here with my 7yo daughter (that is already way more familiar with puberty and periods than I was at that age, as it’s talked about when it comes up), and I’m afraid of not connecting with her and repeating my own mom-daughter dynamic. I know this is all a bit ridiculous sounding.
Does anyone else remember this book? Did anyone else have a very uninformative puberty talk with their mom?