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The original was posted on /r/cfb by /u/Direct_Meaning538 on 2023-09-03 23:21:20.
It’s Saturday September 23rd, 2023, and WSU is playing Oregon State. Everyone has made the same Pac-2 joke in the days leading up to this game. Even the commentators on TV are using the time before the game just to discuss the potential new conferences for both schools. But otherwise, this is just a normal in-conference opener. WSU gets the ball first, they receive the kickoff, and then the offense lines up for the first play. The ball is snapped, but none of the players move. They just stand up from their running start positions. Then, Cameron Ward kneels.
Everyone in the crowd has no idea what’s going on. The offense lines up again for 2nd down, and kneels again. They do it again 2 more times, turning the ball over on downs. Now that the Beavers have the ball, they do the same. 1, 2, 3, and 4 kneels gives the Cougars back the ball. The jumbotron, which had just been showing footage of the last play, has been changed to a simple message: “Ticket Refunds Available Here”, followed by a URL link. Everyone’s tickets had been refunded.
That’s when everyone realizes this isn’t a game. It’s a protest. A protest against the incompetency and bad decision making of the Pac-12. A protest against the teams that were first to leave simply for more money. A protest by the two teams that were left behind. Many fans leave because there is no game being played here, but many stay. They stay to witness history: the time two teams refused to play, a moment that will be remembered forever.
The game’s clock starts flying by. There are no stoppages in play. A kneel happens, a team uses up their full 40 seconds, then they kneel again. The first quarter is over in 20 minutes. Then the second quarter is over soon after. When the end of the 4th quarter hits, this game has only lasted 2 hours. And because it was 2 hours full of just quarterbacks kneeling, this is a 0-0 tie, meaning the game goes to overtime. But that’s when you realize the best part of this entire idea, the part that will give this protest national attention.
There are no ties in college football.
In the NFL, there is overtime, but a tie is given if the game is still tied at the end of that overtime. But college football doesn’t believe in letting players go home. You play until you die, or one of the teams scores, whichever comes first.
That means this game can keep going into the night. It can last days. Weeks even. The NCAA never accounted for teams not actually wanting to score. So as the sun sets over Pullman, each team wastes away their overtime possessions one kneel at a time. The college football rules say that at the third overtime, the game becomes a two-point conversion shootout instead of having to play a full drive. But the teams kneel at each conversion attempt. Once the game hits the 6-hour mark since kickoff, the starters are pulled from the game, and backups are put in. This is what keeps the game alive. When a player gets tired, you switch him out for the next player down on the depth chart. Once the depth chart runs out of players, the starters have returned to the field after being home since the previous day. At this point, the gates to Martin Stadium are wide open, available for anyone to come in and watch what’s happening. News crews use that opportunity to get some footage of this event, but in terms of fans, most have gone to sleep for the night. But luckily for them is they aren’t missing anything, as this game will still be going when they wake up tomorrow.
It’s Sunday morning at 8AM, and Cameron Ward walks onto the field, resetting the cycle of players that have let him leave overnight. Most of the public is aware of this game now, and many are making the trip out the Pullman to see these two teams kneeling. As the morning turns into noon, the crowd begins to grow. But this is a much different atmosphere than this stadium is used to. There are no cheers or boos. There is only watching in awe as a statement to the rest of the college football world is very slowly unfolded.
Eventually this game would have to end. There are other games to be played. WSU has a full two weeks before they need to play their next game against UCLA. But Oregon State only has 6 days until a Friday night matchup with Utah. Could Oregon State theoretically leave their 3rd and 4th string players in Pullman and play two separate games at once? Maybe. But let’s assume the whole team needs to go home to Corvallis, so this game needs to find a way to be stopped. The management of both teams would discuss who should win this game, probably deciding on whoever is ranked higher. It really doesn’t matter. This is not a game. The ranking committee will not consider this a game. But on the play that finally ends it, the quarterback will snap the ball just like he has for the past several days, turn around, and walk towards his own end zone until he has walked out the back of it for a safety. But because this safety happened on a two-point conversion attempt based on overtime rules, this would not just be any safety, but a one-point safety. A one-point safety has only happened twice in the history of college football, but these were both scored on an opponent’s extra point attempt where the ball was turned over, fumbled, rolled into their own end zone, then recovered and tackled while still in their own end zone. That’s the first way to score a one-point safety. The second way is to somehow get tackled or go out of bounds in your own end zone while making a extra point or conversion attempt, meaning you would have to run 98 yards in the wrong direction. This does not happen under normal circumstances. These are not normal circumstances. The game ends 1-0.
Would this change anything? No
But it would be funny