This is an automated archive made by the Lemmit Bot.
The original was posted on /r/AmItheAsshole by /u/Confused-54321 on 2023-09-03 18:39:37.
A little back story. We grew up in in a pretty toxic family fueled by our parents addictions. I always felt like the forgotten child out of the 5 daughters they had. My mother even surrendered all custody of me (not my sisters) when I was 12. When I was 16 I thought I was in love with my bf(18m) We had our first child when I was 17, married at 19 and twins at 20. It was toxic relationship on both sides. We eventually went through a rough divorce when I was 30. We both got help for our trauma/issues and now have a great co-parenting relationship. I have been in a amazing relationship with my fiance for 5.5 yrs and he recently proposed.
Every time I talk to my oldest sister about the wedding, she mentions it’s not my first wedding. She has said things like I shouldn’t wear white, it should be small, I should tell everyone not to get a gifts because “that’s the tradition”. It is my fiance’s first wedding. She called me to tell me that she was “assigned” to throw a bridal shower but didn’t think it was appropriate since I had been married before. I am well aware this is not my first wedding and don’t need reminded every time she asks me about the wedding. I informed her I wasn’t interested in her throwing a bridal shower and that my bridal party would be doing it instead. She would be welcome to attend but I don’t want anyone to feel obligated to celebrate the upcoming wedding.
Now she thinks I am being dramatic and twisting her words. She stated she thought it was funny that she was assigned and wanted to make sure I actually wanted a shower. She also mentioned again to tell the bridal party to make sure and put on the invitation not to bring gifts since I’m already “established”. I honestly don’t care if people bring gifts or not but why is she pushing this? I told her I wasn’t interested in arguing or talking farther on this topic.
My fiance is the baby of his family and they weren’t sure he’d ever get married since he is 40. They want to celebrate all the traditional wedding things for us. His family is great and have accepted the kids and I from the beginning. I want him to have that experience as well. Should it matter that I had been married before? AITA?