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The original was posted on /r/twoxchromosomes by /u/xkimchi on 2023-09-03 16:00:05.

support needed

we broke up and he moved out yesterday. This was after a long night of him screaming at me and every time I turned my light off and closed the door he would open the door and turn the lights back on. All night. Even after I barricade my door closed. He was forcing my dog to stay with him and kept trying to keep me for leaving my bedroom by blocking the hallways with his body. He kept screaming and said he was going to keep doing this (yelling and turning the lights on) until he left the following day.

  • he wouldn’t leave until I “gave him the money I owe him.” His card got canceled so he wouldn’t have the funds to make the drive back to where he’s from (~10hrs). He said I owed him $335 for the dog, but I’m the one that paid for the $700 vet bill, $300 vet bill, and everything else was split equally, so I definitely didn’t owe him anything. Along with that, he never paid half of July or any of august rent. None of these finances would have been brought up had he not mentioned me owing him money for the dog. My mom told me to give him my emergency cash and we could deal with everything after the fact.
  • he tried to take my dog. I walked the dog in the morning and packed him up in my car to hide him at my friend’s house until my ex left. I went back up to get ready for class and hopefully leave before my ex woke up. He didn’t realize the dog was gone until I was about to leave, then he started to scream so loud it felt like he was making the entire apartment vibrate. He tried to stop me, I called my mom saying he wouldn’t let me leave, he texted her saying I was lying and he wasn’t stopping me from leaving. I tried going to class and ignoring him until he threatened me by saying “I’ll show up to that school and embarrass you in front of everyone you know, you have one hour to bring me the dog.” At this point, my mom got involved and called him to tell him he needs to move out.
  • my friends came with me to see the aftermath of the house and he left all the lights on with the TV at full volume. I have yet to find the remote. I’m pretty sure he took it.

the worst (and triggering) bits:

  • he tried manipulating my mom against me. He told her about my SA, my HSV2 diagnosis, sent her a picture of weed stuff (half belonged to him but he didn’t mention that).
  • my mom initially said “he was really calm on the phone idk what you’re trying to represent here” until my friend told her she heard him call me a fucking bitch and say I’m like a stupid five year old he’s sick of having to explain things to. My mom has been supportive overall but is also worried and blindsided by all this new information she received.
  • I just looked out my windows and saw he posted two signs that say a variation of: “[My full name] of [my apartment #] has herpes/FREE HERPES.” This has ruined me for the time being because it was up for a whole day before I realized they were there.

I am so humiliated having all of my secrets exposed to everyone like this. I haven’t said a single bad word about him to his mother - I have a good relationship with her and we talk between the two of us and never directly about him. She knows I don’t want her to feel put in the middle and as soon as she feels like she is we can stop talking. I asked if she could let me know if he made it home okay and whether he was okay prior to finding all this. She told me she would maybe call me Monday or Tuesday in case he opens up to her. I am trying to take the high road but finding these signs has taken a lot out of me. Do you think it’s worth telling her about them? The only thing I have said was in response to her saying “I don’t think he’d ever badmouth you, that’s not him.” I said “he texted my mom and told her all my secrets” and she nervously laughed and said “I don’t know why he would do that.”

My own mom has been a superstar. Obviously she is really really upset with me (my parents are very strict, so the weed situation prompted her to ask if I need to go to rehab because she thinks any kind of drug consumption means I’m an addict). But considering the fact that the info he sent her very much could have put her against me, and the fact she’s still being support, means a lot to me. My dad has also been okay. They’re both very bad with dealing with emotions so all the support I’ve been getting from them has been so helpful to my mental health throughout all this.

I’m sorry if this post seems everywhere, I don’t really know what to feel so I think my body has settled on anxiety and panic for the time being. Thanks for reading.