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The original was posted on /r/AmItheAsshole by /u/midniteuk on 2023-09-03 14:20:45.
Hi, this is my first post here, and I’d welcome your thoughts.
I recently received a wedding invitation from a former close friend, “Emily”, whom I haven’t spoken to in about 7 years. We were good mates at uni but lost touch for reasons unknown to me. No contact whatsoever, not even a ‘Happy Birthday’ on social media.
First, it’s public knowledge among my circle that I have a fairly good job, something Emily is also aware of. The wedding invitation came with a ‘suggested gift’ list that consists mostly of pretty high-end items. This gives me the impression that the primary reason for my invite is to secure an expensive wedding gift.
Furthermore, we haven’t spoken in 7 years and there has been zero effort from her side to maintain or rekindle the friendship, making this invitation seem even more opportunistic. I also learned through mutual friends that one of our ‘minimum wage’ mutual friends have not been invited, but who has been in contact with her more recently than I have. This makes me question why I would be on the guest list when he wasn’t.
Finally, while I do have other plans and priorities, I could potentially make time for the wedding if it were a significant event for someone important to me. However, given the current circumstances, I feel less inclined to rearrange my schedule.
I politely declined the invitation and offered my best wishes for her nuptials. Now, I’m hearing through the grapevine that Emily and some mutual friends think I’m being snobbish and insensitive for declining.
So, am I the arsehole for not attending this wedding and suspecting that the primary reason for my invitation is for an expensive gift?