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The original was posted on /r/twoxchromosomes by /u/i-vent-here on 2023-09-03 03:30:52.
No, I am not a lesbian. I am bisexual, no question about it, and I am definitely attracted to men (as well as women). I’ve been attracted to men many times, physically and emotionally. I was in a long term relationship with a man and I was genuinely in love with him at the time.
I know there are good men in the world. I know they exist. I know not all men are evil. But the countless times I’ve been harassed, objectified and dehumanised has made me sort of lose all faith in men. It’s gotten to the point where I can’t stop myself from assuming every guy who gets close to me has some kind of ulterior motive. I can’t get past the idea that maybe they’re secretly just like all the other bad guys I’ve experienced in the past. Call me immature for using this term but I instantly get the ick.
As Lana Del Rey perfectly put it in the chorus of Norman fucking Rockwell, “you’re just a man, it’s just what you do.” I don’t think men are inherently bad people. Maybe some are, but most mean well. They just don’t seem to realise what they’re doing. It’s more like a problem with society and the upbringing of men. All of this is normalised when it shouldn’t be.
Maybe it’s just guys my age. I’m 19 and it seems at the bottom of everything, guys are just… horny. Now that’s alright and normal. What isn’t, though, is making me uncomfortable by making sexual advances towards me when I’m clearly not interested. Objectifying me and other women/fem-presenting people. Seeing us as lesser or just an accessory. Seeing us as a target or something to attain. No, we are not a prize to win at a carnival. We are people. I am a person and I just want to be treated like one.
For that reason I find it hard to be vulnerable around men. I find myself subconsciously setting up huge thick walls around men. When I was younger and a lot more insecure I used to eat up all the attention, but now I’m old enough to know better. No, I won’t take your creepy comments as a compliment. No, I don’t care what you think of me. No, I’m not dressing up for you. No, I don’t deserve to get sexually harassed because of what I wear. I probably need therapy to get over whatever this is, but I just wanted to get this off my chest.