This is an automated archive made by the Lemmit Bot.
The original was posted on /r/AmItheAsshole by /u/No_Foxes_9606 on 2023-09-02 23:10:38.
Throwaway account for privacy.
I (25F) work with Rosa (early 20s, F). We get on well enough at work, but I do not enjoy spending a lot of time with her for various reasons.
For context: I used to be severely obese, to the point where even getting up and walking short distances was painful. I have lost a lot of weight and am very proud of myself, having attended a weight-loss group for over a year, but I don’t bring it up in conversation unless someone else mentions it first.
Rosa told me when we first met that she had overcome an eating disorder, anorexia. I congratulated her and said that she is very strong and I am happy for her. Nothing more was said after that.
One morning at work, I took a pen out of my pocket so I could tick some things off a list. My pen happened to have the logo of the weight loss group I joined on it (I think I took it home from one of our meetings). Rosa saw the pen and asked “do you go to that club?” to which I replied “yes, it’s helped me have a healthier mindset about food.” Rosa looked upset, almost angry? and said “Can you use a different pen? Seeing things about weight loss really triggers me.”
I just kind of looked at her like… are you serious? I also didn’t have another pen in my pocket. I tried to be sensitive to her past, but was also a bit irritated, so I said “I understand, but you are bound to come across things that trigger you in the real world, it’s literally just a pen with a logo on it. You can’t expect everyone to make a conscious effort to avoid triggering you, life doesn’t work like that.”
Rosa looked really annoyed at this point and stormed off, I don’t know where she went, if she went to report me to management or whatever, I don’t know. I’ve tried looking at both sides of this argument in my head, but I need another opinion. AITA?
TL;DR - My colleague asked me to not use a pen with the logo of a weight loss group on it because it triggered her, due to her experience with anorexia. I told her it’s just a pen and she is going to come across many things in life that trigger her.