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The original was posted on /r/AmItheAsshole by /u/mrkool_kat on 2023-09-02 22:57:59.
I (29F) recently got married, and everything was going perfectly until a situation arose that left me questioning if I had made the right decision. My husband (30M) and I decided to have a small, intimate wedding with close friends and family. Among our guests was my teenage cousin (16M) who is a high functioning autistic and has sensory sensitivities.
As the wedding day approached, I received a request from my aunt (56F), who asked if we could make some accommodations to ensure her son’s comfort during the ceremony and reception. She explained that he might become overwhelmed by loud noises, bright lights, and certain textures. She asked if we could keep the music at a lower volume, have a designated quiet space, and avoid using any overwhelming decorations.
I discussed this with my husband and our wedding planner, and we decided not to make any special accommodations. We wanted our wedding to be a certain way, with a particular ambiance, and we were concerned that making changes to accommodate one guest might disrupt the atmosphere we had envisioned. We thought the parents could take care of their son’s needs without us needing to alter our plans. He could’ve been accommodated with earplugs and sunglasses. On the wedding day, the boy became visibly uncomfortable during the ceremony due to the music and the bright lighting. He ended up having a meltdown, which was distressing for his parents and disrupted the event. Our guests also seemed uncomfortable witnessing the situation. My aunt is upset and said I should’ve done better. However, it’s my special day, not his.
So, AITA?