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The original was posted on /r/AmItheAsshole by /u/Valuable-Charge9683 on 2023-09-01 16:12:13.
Sister (22f) and I (26f) lost our mom 20 years ago. Mom had a lot of jewelry and she had it in her will that we would each get specific pieces of it. Dad remarried a year later to Jane. My sister considers Jane her mom and Jane’s daughter Norah (23f) her sister. Due to her feeling like they were just mom and sister and not step, my sister has given away all the jewelry she got from mom to Jane and Norah. I always refused to let them borrow pieces from me.
Jane always rubbed me the wrong way because she said my mom was not my sister’s mom anymore and she was basically a stand in until her real mom (her/Jane) could come into my sister’s life. She said it was disgusting that I would think it a bad thing for my sister to share pretty jewelry with no real meaning with her family. She said I was the one who was rejecting a mom and sister.
My sister has nothing left from what mom left her. When she was graduating high school she was upset about not having anything to wear or so it appeared and she asked if she could borrow a bracelet mom left me. I was like sure, just give it back after. But my sister gave it to Jane after and it took months for me to get it back. I told Jane I would escalate the situation if I didn’t. Everyone, meaning dad, my sister, Jane and Norah, thought I was shitty for that.
Now the necklace has become an issue. It was mom’s favored piece of jewelry and I have always worn it. I wore it on my wedding day. My sister is aware that it was mom’s favorite and she has seen photos of her wearing it. She wanted to borrow it to wear on her wedding day. I was like no fucking way. I told her I had made it clear after the graduation incident that she was never borrowing another piece off me again and I told her that if she wants something of mom’s to wear, she should take back the stuff she gave away.
My sister lost it with me and started yelling that I have always held it against her that she didn’t hold mom on a pedestal and reject everyone who came into our lives after. She said I had no right to throw that stuff in her face (I didn’t) and that she showed be allowed to wear something of mom’s to her wedding just like I did when I got married. She broke down and told me I was selfish and awful and I took pleasure in doing this to her and I sucked and had ruined her wedding.
AITA?