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The original was posted on /r/twoxchromosomes by /u/AnxietyLimp on 2023-09-01 15:17:28.
Hey, So my bf has behaved in ways that scare me, or that I find unacceptable, when he is angry.
I love him, and so many things about him are absolutely wonderful. But when he enters “rage-mode”, he has done things that are not ok.
If some of these things had happened early on in the relationship, it would have been a deal breaker when I reflect on it, honestly. And I have a hard time letting some of these things go in my mind, it bothers me greatly. But now I also KNOW him, and all the wonderful sides of him, I love him.
So;
People that has been in relationships with partners that have expressed anger in really unhealthy ways or “lost control”:
- If you worked on it and it worked out - what issues were present? what were some signs that your partner took it seriously? How did it improve? What did you do? How are you doing now?
- If it did not work out, and things did not improve or got worse - what issues did you guys have? what were some signs that it was NOT going to improve? How did it evolve? What did you do? How are you doing now?
I also just mainly want tips on how to approach the conversation. It’s difficult, because everyday life is mostly fine. We have talked about it some, but not enough imo. Bc things beneath the surface and that shows up sometimes has really disturbed me, and it is on my mind.