This is an automated archive made by the Lemmit Bot.
The original was posted on /r/AmItheAsshole by /u/Alternative-Print804 on 2023-09-01 03:11:10.
We’re a blended family, 3 young adult kids from me, 1 young adult kid and 1 15yo from him, and 2 boys between us. He ( dh) is fully putting his oldest through college. His youngest daughter (15yo) is not biologically his, ex had an affair, took off for about 5 years to live it up, came back, they reconciled, dh has raised her as his own since then. (Her bio dad is an addict/deadbeat and is no part of her life.)
Since dh is putting his oldest through school, I convinced him to no longer pay his ex any child support towards the younger daughter. (He was never legally required to) Dh is still providing for her: clothes, shoes, private school fees, tutoring, extracurriculars, insurance, phone bill, etc, but not giving his ex anymore money directly. The ex is absolutely livid over this as she’s a sahm and counted on his money for well, everything. Now his ex is in a position of being in her mid 40s and never having had a job, and no longer getting an income from dh.
(I’m fine with him providing for his child, she’s a great kid and I love her. There is no issues there, and if dh is busy, I’m also happy to get her what she wants or needs. Neither of us would ever allow her to go without.)
Dh has talked to a lawyer, who said dh owes his ex absolutely nothing regarding the younger one, and his ex has no chance if she were to seek child support as dh has already gone above and beyond for a child that he has no legal claim to.
Ex has been calling dh and me every possible name you can think of for destroying her life and putting her in a bad financial situation, where she might actually need to work someday.
AITA?
Edit: he had been giving his ex $4000 a month plus $800 towards her mortgage, so it’s a significant loss for her. There is no alimony.
Edit2: dh told his ex several months before the oldest turned 18 that he planned to no longer give his ex money. Ex didn’t believe him and laughed it off.