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The original was posted on /r/AmItheAsshole by /u/candlestickpotato on 2023-09-01 00:47:34.
I had to create an anonymous username because people know my regular username.
I will try to keep this short and sweet.
I have a MIL that has been a thorn in my side for over 20 years. From the second I started dating her son, she was an actual pain and boundary stomped nonstop. An example- my first child was an emergency csection and I was released a day earlier than normal and she thought it was acceptable to call my ob/gyn to have him make me stay at the hospital longer. She also made sure to tell me on multiple occasions that I will never have a strong bond because I couldn’t breastfeed. When my husband and I confronted her, she lied and played the victim.
I recently started going to therapy and have really begun to understand that she is absolutely insane. I always knew, but I never wanted to put my husband in a weird position. He is, by all means, a great husband. Very supportive and caring.
Heres the issue- we have a family wedding this weekend out of town for my husband’s side. My children are in the wedding and we are very excited. My husband informed me that his mother called the hotel to request that we have an adjoining room with his parents. She did not discuss it with us, she just made the call to the hotel. To say that I am feeling violated is a gross understatement. I told him that I am NOT ok with this. He said he didn’t want to create any problems or drama and didnt want anyone to be upset. He also said it’s probably because she wants to spend time with our children, but I feel as if this type of thing should be discussed first. We did say we are fine with being on the same floor for this reason, but she took it upon herself to call and request that our rooms be adjoining.
I took matters into my own hands and called the hotel myself to request that we do not have adjoining rooms. My husband is worried this will create a bigger issue, but I am really upset that his mom thinks this is acceptable. We are near 40 and I don’t want to be treated like a child. I am at a loss here—AITA?
EDIT: I’ve seen a question about how he has stood up for me. With the breastfeeding comments, him and I sat down with her and my FIL and my husband stood up for me by saying it’s unacceptable for her to say these things and he was very firm. She then said I was lying, but then even my husband heard her and called her out.
There was a stretch of about a year and a half where I received anonymous text messages that were pretty horrible—as in calling my children ugly, saying they were not lucky to have me as a parent, and even saying my pregnancy loss was because that baby didn’t want me as their mother. Just horrible things. It could only be a handful of people based on what this person knew. My husband and I suspected it was his brothers wife. When my husband mentioned it to his mom, she said SIL would never and that I probably sent them to myself because that’s how I am. He put an end to that QUICKLY.