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The original was posted on /r/twoxchromosomes by /u/theque22s on 2023-08-31 16:36:33.

I did it. I left a bad review for a doctor. I took back some power.

It has been bothering me for over 2 years and I finally submitted a review of the physician who wronged me.

I should have ended my visit the minute he came in.

My GYN referred me for stage 4 endometriosis because she said my condition was so extreme that I would benefit from a physician who specialized in gynecological surgeries in order to have the best outcome for my hysterectomy and bilateral salpingo-oophorectomy. My GYN had done my laparoscopic procedure and saw the extent of my condition inside (it was bad). I appreciate that she was honest enough with me to tell me I needed a physician who could provide better treatment than she felt qualified to do.

Back to the shitty physician. After greeting me in my consultation he said my condition wasn’t his area of expertise. OK, fine… so the visit should have ended there. I am not sure why I was scheduled with him since referrals require detailed notes from the referring physician - I know this because I have worked in various medical offices for over a decade where I have prepared and received referrals and managed medical records. So, one of his colleagues who was better qualified should have had my case.

After my awful visit with him I went back to my GYN and asked to be referred to a different office. We discussed it, I told her my reasoning which surprised her. She vouched for the quality of care at this particular office and I ended up getting referred to his partner (female physician) who did a fantastic job and treated me with actual dignity.

Anyway, the shitty physician… after he told me he’s not the expert he spent 50 minutes mansplaining my condition like he’d just googled it and was attempting to recall information. It was like he was trying to talk in quantity to make up for lack of knowledge, repeating himself and droning on and on.

On to the pelvic exam. It was abrupt, rough and had less communication than a cow gets from a veterinarian. All the physicians I have ever seen alert you to the fact that they are going to begin touching you before they plunge their fingers in without warning. No big surprise, but he could not see or feel the endometriosis from my vagina, lol. He didn’t even apply pressure to the areas of my abdomen to determine where the discomfort was located. With my condition being what is was the only way to “check” it is to do exploratory surgery… and the surgical notes and images from my GYN had already been sent with the referral. This was the only fast part of my visit but thankfully it was brief. The “specialist” leaves the room to carry on with his day and see the next patient. Good riddance. At this point, I am feeling so vulnerable and so violated by his exam technique I am in a daze but at least he is gone. The female resident shadowing him steps forward to hand me tissues so I can wipe the gel off of myself. Her face was just as shocked as I think mine must have been. She looked me in the eyes, apologized and left the room so I could dress.

Now, I am glad my husband was there so I knew I wasn’t exaggerating in my mind what I just experienced. I brought him because he’s my partner, my best friend and my biggest supporter, not because I need his permission or anything like that. I wanted him to have as much information as I had about the procedure. I have to tell you, I love my husband, he is truly everything I could ever want and more – I sometimes look at him and wonder how I landed him. He asked me if this is how all appointments go and I told him it was not and explained what typically occurs during a pelvic exam. This made him even more upset than he already was - he had just sat through almost an hour of rambling like I had. Maybe the 50 minutes of droning on was to impress the pretty, young resident, I don’t know. I feel bad for however long she was stuck with him for that leg of her residency.

I have now fully recovered from my surgery, happily adjusted to life on hormones and regained my core strength, but this mental burden still weighed on me. So I did something about it. I am not sure if the review will get posted but I feel like he deserved the review I gave and I hope it does. The only thing I am disappointed about is that there was a character limit, lol.