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The original was posted on /r/AmItheAsshole by /u/AITARR31 on 2023-08-31 17:37:37.
(Apologies for yet another wedding post.)
My wife and I (26/F & 32/M) got married two weeks ago. At our reception, her cousin “Rachel” (24/F) caught the bouquet. Apparently her boyfriend “Ross” (25/M) had been carrying a ring around waiting for the right time to propose and decided her catching the bouquet was a sign.
So, immediately after Rachel caught the bouquet, Ross ran out to the dance floor and got down on one knee to propose to her. She said yes and so obviously this shifted all of the attention onto Ross and Rachel. Everyone surrounded them to congratulate them and then Rachel asked the DJ to play “their song” for them to dance, which derailed the next few things we had planned.
I already wasn’t happy about this because we only had the photographer available for a certain number of hours and I was worried about going off the schedule. But what really upset me was that I could see that my wife’s feelings were obviously very hurt that Ross and Rachel were stealing our thunder. My wife is really not the type of person to want a lot of attention or to be comfortable spending a lot of money on herself, so our wedding was the one special day when she was able to do so without feeling guilty about it, and seeing it get ruined for her was awful.
I decided to ask Ross and Rachel to leave, and at the time my wife agreed with me. So, when I next had the chance, I pulled Ross aside to tell him that I didn’t appreciate him upstaging us and that I thought it would be best if he and Rachel left early so we could enjoy the rest of the night. Ross started arguing with me saying that I was acting nuts, which caused more of a scene than I expected or wanted because a small group of our wedding guests overheard the conversation and jumped in with their opinions.
Ross and Rachel did ultimately agree to leave, but for the rest of the night people were talking not just about them getting engaged but also about me kicking them out. Everyone was on our side, but even so my wife and I weren’t happy that people continued to talk more about Ross and Rachel. The reason we wanted them to leave was because we didn’t want to keep being reminded all night of the stunt they had just pulled on us instead of being able to simply celebrate our marriage with our friends and family.
My wife has since said that it was wrong to kick Ross and Rachel out, and we should’ve pretended to be happy for them in the moment so as not to further ruin the night because people would have talked less about it that way. Rachel’s mother has also complained to my wife’s mother about me kicking them out, saying that we should’ve brought it up to them privately later instead of letting a faux pas turn into a squabble because now that’s the only thing anyone is going to remember about our wedding and/or about Ross and Rachel’s engagement.
I do still think that Ross and Rachel, mostly Ross, were assholes in this situation, but was I also?