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The original was posted on /r/AmItheAsshole by /u/silver-pincat on 2023-08-31 12:04:42.
I (31f) and my husband (41m) have 5 children - Rebecca (14f), Sam (12m), Dave (10m), George (2m) and Harry (1m). Rebecca, Sam and Dave are my stepchildren (husband’s children from his first marriage), and George and Harry are our bio kids. All five children live with us full-time. I have been the three older kids’ mother-figure for almost 8 years now, and have a good relationship with them. They see they see their bio-mum every second Saturday for a couple of hours in the afternoon (their choice to see her that much - there are no court orders). Their mother is unable/unwilling to take care of them on a short or long-term regular basis.
When I say that I am a mother-figure to Rebecca, Sam and Dave, I mean I am there for them to listen to issues and normal teen stuff they may want to vent on, I do the cooking, cleaning, clothes washing, etc, and all the general things a mum does in the home. (They are responsible for keeping their own rooms clean). Husband is of course a supportive dad and is there to help them as well. My husband and I split the cleaning 50/50 pretty much, however, I do 95% of the cooking. The older three do not babysit their younger siblings, I do not think that is fair to ask that of them.
Recently, in addition to spending quality time as a family of 7, I have also been wanting to spend time with just me, my husband, George and Harry. My husband and I discussed this and are both in agreeance that this can happen. Even though we have discussed this, every time an opportunity has come up to spend time with just the four of us, all 7 family members come along. I have gone along with this and allowed it to happen on these occassions, but I can feel myself getting frustrated that I have expressed a need and it keeps getting ignored.
Just to clarify, I don’t want all events to be just me, my husband, Harry and George, I am only asking for it to happen occassionally. I want to have family time for all 7 of us to hang out and would be more than happy for that to happen 90% of the time.
So, AITA for wanting this?