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The original was posted on /r/AmItheAsshole by /u/cherrytoiletbrush on 2023-08-31 04:01:31.
I (F,29) have a sister (F,31) who gave birth to my niece 6 years ago, it was a HUGE deal for us.
On her first birthday I gifted an expensive stroller. (I make a nice amount and since I have no kids and no partner, I was happy to splurge.)
The next birthday I got custom stuff from pottery barn. It was this birthday that my sister seemed to latch to the idea that I would go above and beyond every birthday.
Third birthday was a tiny driveable car. Fourth was an American girl doll trip. Fifth was an ipad. I didn’t object to the gift ideas my sister gave, I was happy to spoil my niece.
Well this year for her birthday my sister didn’t tell me what she wanted. I asked a few times but she said she was “in between ideas” When I heard nothing back, I got her a Nintendo switch since I remember her saying she wanted one.
Cut to the party last Friday. We’re gathered around watching her open gifts when my sister passes her an envelope. Knowing it wasn’t the gift I brought, I thought nothing of it until she opened it. She gave her mother a look, my sister whispered something, and my niece started screaming.
The envelope had a picture of Mickey Mouse. My sister had just told her I was taking her to Disney World.
I sat there kinda stunned and expected it to be a joke for a minute. However everyone started to cheer and it became obvious there was no joke.
I tried to meet my sisters eyes but she avoided mine. My niece was starting to pick up on me not being excited so my sister finally looked at me and said “Tell her! You get to see the castle!”
Idk the most about Disney but I do know that’s it’s a lot amount more then what I spend on her.
I knew better than to make a scene so I mustered up a smile for my niece and excused myself.
Once I hit the hallway I turned towards the door. I didn’t want to ruin the day, and the words rushing my mind surely would. I wanted to just make a quiet exit but of course, my sister followed me. She was confused on why I was leaving, and most importantly why I was mad. She kept saying that this was what my niece really wanted and there was no way I would ruin her party by leaving.
I stared. Waiting for her to realize how insane of an ask this was. Her expression remained the same so I simply said “No I won’t be the one to ruin it. You now get to tell her the trip is simply not happening.” And walked out.
I got a ton of calls from my sister and my parents and after talking, my family thinks I shouldn’t have walked out and worse, most of the family think I should do it. Price aside, as someone who has never travelled solo with a kid, especially in a place like Disney, I wouldn’t be comfortable.
I was okay buying her pricey gifts but this will be well over what I normally spend. I know I didn’t help the problem by agreeing to buy what she asked for but at least to me, a trip should be discussed beforehand.
I’m torn. Since I can afford to should I just do it? Am I the asshole over saying no?