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The original was posted on /r/AmItheAsshole by /u/Hour-Sort8656 on 2023-08-30 21:16:17.

My mum (40f) is coming to see me (19f) in two weeks - for the first time since I started university. Just for some context, my family moved abroad a year ago and I haven’t seen any of them since. The distance has given me time to reflect on some of my mother’s strange, obsessive behaviours regarding food, and I’ve since realised that some of her actions were somewhat ‘abusive’, however I use this term very lightly.

To outline the situation, we were never allowed to take food from the kitchen without asking. If we were caught doing so, it was called ‘stealing’ and we would be shouted at and/or sometimes punished. It escalated at some point to locks being placed on the cupboards, a transparent ‘meat lock’ being placed in the fridge and a camera being installed in the kitchen. She would monitor how many times a day I’d be in the kitchen. If I had been in the too many times she would chastise me, saying that I’m obsessed with food, obsessed with always being in the kitchen and that I have serious ‘food issues’. During secondary school, I was never sent to school with packed lunch, nor was any money put on my card so that I could buy food. At some point I started to cook the family dinners, and the leftovers would always be allocated to my stepdad, whilst the rest of us would go to school with nothing. We would sometimes get takeaways for dinner, but often times my mum and stepdad got takeaway only for themselves, saying that we weren’t allowed any.

Now, the instance in which I could possibly be the asshole is that i plan to treat my mum as she treated me in regards to food when she visits. I told my boyfriend of my plan to enforce these ‘rules’, that there will be a curfew for the kitchen, that she is not allowed to take or eat food without permission - and if she does so I will call her a thief. I was also thinking of ordering food for myself and telling her that’s she’s not allowed any. I honestly just want to show her how ridiculous she is about food, but at the same time I just want to be petty because why not. My boyfriend is telling me that I’d be immature for doing this, and that since my relationship with her is already difficult, I’d be better off taking the high road rather than adding fuel to the flames. My dad and sister also agree. Whilst I can’t deny that doing this would be immature, I can’t help but feel that she deserves a taste of her own medicine.

So WIBTA?