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The original was posted on /r/twoxchromosomes by /u/oscarsbubbles on 2023-08-30 20:17:19.

I don’t know what to do.

I’ve known him for 10+ years and the kinks have progressed. He always liked anal play (he wants to be pegged, etc) , wants to be the sub and be caged, and me to literally walk around with the key. He has a drawer full of dildos, nipple clips and strap ons that he always wants to use. During sex he is vocal about wanting to see another man have sex with me, lick up the cum, be the fluffer for both of us. We had a discussion a few years ago about his bi-sexual tendencies and whether he wanted to explore that. I told him that if he decided he was gay, or wanted sex with men, then I wasn’t willing to continue a relationship (just not what I wanted to contend with-personal choice, not judgment). He chose me, willingly and eagerly. He has recently started wearing lace underwear at home (previously was commando). He changes after dinner and spends the evening sitting on the couch in them. Some are just lace, some are more adorned. He said he likes how they feel. Well, they are up the crack of his butt and he’s half hanging out, so I don’t see how that’s comfortable. Every night, he is dressing this way (new behaviour). He said he feels more like himself. I checked his dresser drawers and discovered thigh high stockings, so I know he’s planning on taking this further. He wants me to be a hotwife. I don’t want to do that. He’s got all these t-shirts he wears around the house that say “beta” or property of hotwife. I feel so objectified with all his comments, like I’m just a mechanism for his fantasies.

I love this guy, and we’ve been through a lot together, but I can’t live like this! The further he goes down this rabbit hole, the more turned off I get. He doesn’t look cute in panties. It’s a sexual turn off for me. I’d rather he just go find someone else to have sex with, if that will help him. I don’t want to live with dildos and his panties being “shoved” in my face (not literally) every single day. When we do have sex, he prefers to perform oral sex, and then PIV quick and dirty to get the job done. Usually, he wants me to edge and ruin him, more than anything else. I know he watches a lot of porn related to all this, as well.

I don’t want to embarrass him. He can like what he wants. That’s not the issue. I don’t want any of this. I want a somewhat dominant man. When I have mentioned the hotwife thing bothering me in the past, he said he would stop bringing it up, and he did, but it’s back again. I’m considering it as an alternative to having a sexual relationship with him, but I know he will be upset because I don’t intend to let him be in the audience, which is exactly what he wants. I have told him that he’s not a sub if he sets up situations where I have to say “no” to his kink during sex, or he cages himself and hands me the key. I don’t want to be responsible for his orgasms…ugh, it goes on and on.

I don’t know what to do.