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The original was posted on /r/twoxchromosomes by /u/Wooden_Leopard9302 on 2023-08-29 23:02:20.
Here we go, after thinking a lot about if I should share this story at all. In the end, maybe it even helps someone, or at the bare minimum I get out what spins in my mind all the time.
I’m in my 30s, divorcing a man I spend nearly half my life with and he still lives with me. And it is hella exhausting. Everything of it.
To the back story; I was the sole breadwinner, I bought a house, paid the bills, brought food home, cleaned, did laundry 90% of the time, took care of him, the pets and everything that was necessary to have a decent life.
He…didn’t. He didn’t work. He never did. He didn’t pay a single bill, even after I asked him to contribute. He didnt clean, even after I asked him to help he did help so poorly it was even more work after. He didn’t take care of me when I needed him.
What he did was making me responsible. For everything. When I listen to his words I’m the most horrible person in existence. I only ruin his life, his vacation, I ruin his mood. I am responsible when he loses it, because I don’t treat him how he deserves. I am responsible that he needs help. But also he is taking care of everything and I do nothing the whole day and he always has my back.
The amount of how often he let me fall, how often I asked him for at least some help, is uncountable.
I’m sick of it. No I don’t hate him. I know he needs help. I know he never learned how love works back then as a child. I know he has nowhere to go. But I also know with one last thing he did, I gave up. I know I don’t want to fight anymore for something that will never change. I know I don’t want to spend any more money in a couples therapy that doesn’t fix anything. And I know that I will now be my focus. My own number one.
Edit: if anyone has questions that aren’t too personal hmu