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The original was posted on /r/twoxchromosomes by /u/xAshree on 2023-08-29 15:43:05.
Quick Background: We’ve been together for just over 4 years, lived together for most of our relationship. I’m a 28F, he’s 27M. We share 2 kids together (an 18 months old that is ours and a 5 year old from a previous relationship, but they’re both whole-heartedly his!). I work full-time, WFM with some interstate travel and he’s just started back at work 2 weeks ago after being a SAHD until we could get our youngest into daycare - now works part-time 4 days/week. We just moved into our newly constructed home near his family. 5 year old is ADHD, possibly autistic and she’s a damn handful. The little one sleeps like ass and usually wakes at least once per night requiring some affection.
Now, we have been on extremely rocky ground lately because I have been feeling a combination of crappy things - used, neglected, disrespected, unloved/unwanted, bothersome, etc. - regarding my partner.
I have made a series of what I thought were very reasonable requests that have been met with outrage or dismissal.
Long story short, my hill to die on is that I want him to put an effort in to consciously telling me that he loves me, at least once daily. I don’t give a flying hoot how he does it - text, phone, in person, a note - I DON’T CARE.
His blatant refusal on this has led to me questioning if I’m actually being unreasonable or needy like he claims - it almost feels like I’m gaslighting myself into believing him?
Slight additional context: I have a condition that essentially makes me PMS to an almost debilitating degree for 1-2 weeks before my period. To give you an idea of that this looks like: I am happy, good day, hear a song lyric that maybe leans towards sadness and then Spiral down emotionally into an abyss where I am considering if my life is even worth living.
In his defence he catches the brunt of this, and its only been happening since the birth on our second child. Never had issues like this before and yes I am seeing a Dr. about this and some extreme fatigue I am experiencing also.
But like. It’s just an “I love you.” He says it if I ask directly, but by having to ask I feel like it means literally nothing to me. Is this crazy on me? Am I genuinely expecting too much with this? Are my shitty lady-hormones warping my thought processing/emotional regulation on this?