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The original was posted on /r/AmItheAsshole by /u/Nearby-Willow-5041 on 2023-08-29 09:52:29.
I (28f) have been married to my husband for 18 months and we are expecting our first child in November. Back when I first met my husband we had discussed children and even naming children. We both wanted kids and both felt that kids deserve their own name and not honor names or long standing family names. My husband has one. It’s somewhat of a tradition and he told me it was complicated at the best of times but also meant what felt like a very old man name was often continued on and on in the family with no time to let it rest. We discussed it all more in depth when we got engaged. We had agreed that we would stand together and not give a son, if we had one, the family name that would be expected.
We are now in the very position we had discussed and my husband has changed his mind. The name in question is Arthur. The name has become far more popular in the last couple of years and I worry that it’s rise in popularity and the familial pressure have made my husband give in and decide that we should stick to the tradition.
I’m very upset about this fact and my husband and I have been disagreeing for close to three months now on the topic of the name. I still stand by my belief that children should have their own name and I still don’t even like the name. He has gone back on our promise and that stings.
We were at his sister’s house on Saturday for her daughter’s third birthday party. While we were there certain family members, mostly his mom, brother, and grandfather were telling us we should announce baby Arthur’s name and I told them Arthur was not going to be my son’s name. My husband said we still needed to talk more about that and he would find a way to talk me around. His mom chimed in with a remark about trusting them to name babies over my own parents who sought to give me a trendy and boyish name, Riley. I told her she was being rude and she had no right to insult my parents. My husband told his mom that was stepping over the line. She said she was calling it like she saw it. She also claimed my parents had an even bigger issue with middle names which according to her show that my parents only ever considered themselves and not me or my siblings. My husband told her to stop.
But he brought it up again and I told him I would not be pressured into a name we had both agreed multiple times we would not name our son. Then his family got involved again and told me I shouldn’t want to deny my son the chance to hold the family name. They also told me it wasn’t fair for me to unilaterally decide his name. I told them to mind their own effing business (and I did say effing because kids were around) and this was between my husband and me. They were shocked at how I spoke to them and told me I should have apologized and left. They still want their damn apology.
AITA?