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The original was posted on /r/AmItheAsshole by /u/goat_on-a_boat on 2023-08-29 09:53:34.
I (26F) have been married to my wife (25F) for two years. In February, my wife gave birth to our wonderful son, who is now 5 months old. Around 3 months before my son was born, my mother had to move in with us after she divorced my father.
My mother was never really fond of my wife. Even though my wife always tried her best to get my mom to like her, mom kept making remarks and saying mean things about her, and my wife always suffered a lot from this.
I have two sisters who were willing to take her in, but she insisted to come to live with me. I spoke to my wife about this to see if she was ok with it, and she said that maybe it would be an occasion to bond with her.
My mother always had something to say about the things my wife did, blaming it on the “You are trying to hurt your child”, even when it had nothing to do with the pregnancy, for example the way she dressed. I confronted her multiple times about this, and she always said that she’d stop, although she’d stop for a couple of days just to restart worse than before.
Around a week ago me and my wife were sitting on the couch, and my wife was feeding our son. My mother asked us if we were planning to have other children, and I replied that we weren’t planning to, at least not so soon. My wife said that our son wasn’t even a year old, and that it wasn’t that simple.
My mother told her something along the lines of “I have three daughters and it was always simple for me. The problem is all those drugs you take, which is also why you don’t get to breastfeed your son”.
Now, my wife had a rough childhood. I won’t go much into detail, but both her mother and her older brother were abusive towards her, because her mother believed that “she shouldn’t have been born”. When she was 7 her parents divorced and she moved to Italy with her father. She has a good relationship with her twin brother, but she’s no contact with her older brother and her mom. This situation caused her severe PTSD and anxiety problems, which is why she’s on meds.
She had to suspend her meds during the pregnancy, and that alone caused her a lot of trouble. The first and only time she got to breastfeed was right after our son was born, and she suffers a lot because she can’t do it.
My wife immediately teared up and I saw red. I told my mother that she should be grateful that my wife agreed to let her stay in our house considering the way she treats her. I told her that if she doesn’t have any idea of why my wife takes meds, then she should shut up.
My mother, instead of apologizing, proceeded to yell at my wife that she was manipulating me into hating my own mother, and the yelling caused my wife a panic attack.
I calmed her down, then I called my sister and I quickly explained what happened.
My sister said she’d come get my mother and I told her to pack her things because she was leaving. She told me that I couldn’t do this to her but I didn’t care.
My wife thanked me for standing up for me but thinks that maybe I was a bit too hard on my mother.
So AITA?