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The original was posted on /r/twoxchromosomes by /u/djinnisequoia on 2023-08-29 08:11:40.
I was on my bike at an intersection, waiting for the light. This guy comes up and tries the old “I know I know you from somewhere…” on me.
Now, because once in awhile it really was somebody who knew me from an old neighborhood or whatever, I used to humor these jokers.
But I stood there feeling helpless as my light turned green while this guy was demonstrating he was not only full of shit, but also creepy and getting scary. I really wanted to get away from him and so finally I just bolted across the street.
However, the light had turned green for oncoming traffic at the same moment I was suddenly and unexpectedly in the middle of the intersection, and I was hit by a car.
Fortunately, I was only knocked over and got a pretty bad contusion (ie “road rash”) on my elbow; but I know it scared the poor lady driving the SUV half to death.
Ladies, do not give a flying fuck whether anyone thinks you are rude. Five years from now, when you are having fun and all in one piece, I guarantee you it will not even cross your mind to wonder if you may possibly have been impolite to someone who could have been anything from a waster of your time to a serial killer.
Note: “I dunno, gotta go!” works just fine for me, but if you want something more illustrious, you can always learn to say “I don’t speak English” in Klingon or Navajo.