This is an automated archive made by the Lemmit Bot.

The original was posted on /r/AmItheAsshole by /u/Bethani_69 on 2023-08-29 05:52:43.

Okay so, AITA?

My husband is really close with his parents and brother and we live 1500 miles away, so besides the two family visits we do with the kids each year, I support him in going to visit 1-2x per year by himself. A little difficult with 2 small kids but, I’m a full time mom so I can do it and I don’t mind because I know he has so much fun.

My husband left early (4am) on Thursday to go visit his family. I took care of our 1yo and 3yo by myself until he got back into town on Sunday afternoon.

My 3yo had been missing daddy and wanted to go see him “at his airport”. So after nap time on Sunday, I packed the kids in the car, drove the 20 minutes to the airport and waited at the gate as a surprise for him! (He drove our other car and parked at the airport.)

He had also been texting me and video chat the whole time telling me how much fun he was having with his parents and brother, but that he missed me and the kids way more than he thought he would.

He was surprised alright. Got a really cute video of kids running at their dad.

But his reaction was also less than enthusiastic. I asked him if it was a good surprise. He said " it was a surprising surprise". Then we get into the car so I can drive him over to the economy lot where he is parked and 3yo wanted to ride home with dad. He says “I really didn’t want you to be here”. Like wtf am I supposed to say to that? And he just says he’ll explain more later.

Well I’m fuming the whole car ride home without him and when we get back to the house I am quite l, fearing I’m going to say to say something I regret in anger if I speak. He can tell.

He just says “I can’t come home to this, just talk to me”. I tell him to explain what he meant by his earlier comment of not wanting us there and he said he was just tired and sweaty from being in a cramped airplane for three hours and was just ready for the travel experience to be done with.

I’m still angry.

I say " well was it a good surprise? Because you said it was just a surprising surprise". He pauses and says “it was good, I just didn’t expect it”. I roll my eyes… that’s what suprise is

I ask him to take back what he said at the airport, and he did. But like it still hurt.

Maybe I could have handled it better. I guess I do know he doesn’t like surprises so maybe I’m an asshole for trying to set up a good one with what I thought were pretty low steaks. Maybe I’m the Ahole for not taking into consideration his mental state after just spending 3 hours on a plane (that the AC was broken on). Maybe I’m not the Ahole and he always tells me to watch what I say because sometimes it can’t be taken back and this time it was him.

Idk. You guys tell me.