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The original was posted on /r/AmItheAsshole by /u/employeeofdacentury on 2023-08-28 22:45:17.
My future MIL “Bea” has a vintage wedding dress that is a family heirloom. Both her grandmother and her mother wore it to their weddings. She was planning on wearing it to hers, but there was a family emergency the day before, so the wedding had to be postponed. Not wanting to wait, Bea and her husband eloped as soon as possible, and while she got to wear the dress, she didn’t get to have a big ceremony with all her friends and family like she had wanted. She had passed it onto her only daughter, but it didn’t fit her. I didn’t realize this was going to be an issue, but the dress fit me like a glove, and now Bea is pushing me to wear it to my wedding.
First, I want to say that Bea is not a stereotypical MIL. We are actually quite close, and she is a cool, fun person. This is the first instance of her being the type of pushy MIL that you see portrayed in the media. The dress is not ugly or stereotypically vintage looking, but it has long sleeves, which will be uncomfortable in the Texas heat, and a floral pattern, which I’m not a fan of. The dress clashes with the overall aesthetic of the wedding too, which is a more modern/industrial vibe, and the dress I had picked out fit that perfectly.
I know that it would mean a lot to Bea if I wore the dress, but I only get one wedding (hopefully) and I’ve been planning it for almost a year. I will look back on the photos for the rest of my life, so it’s important to me that everything is as close as possible to mine and my fiancée’s vision. Additionally, I have a large-ish (~15k) Instagram following, and while I’m not going to make decisions based on my followers’ opinions, I want to make sure the photos I post on my account are reflective of what I want and who I am.
My parents think I’m being over dramatic and I should just wear the dress. They had originally given me $1500 to choose a dress, and said if I didn’t buy a dress they would still give me the $1500 to spend however I pleased. This was pretty tempting, but I don’t really need the money, and would prefer to have my dream dress. My fiancée’s sister, who I always thought was my friend, flipped out on me, told me it was just a stupid [redacted] dress, and called me a Bridezilla. My fiancée told me I should wear whatever I want and just let everyone else deal, but now, especially after his sister’s reaction, I’m worried I’m going to piss off and alienate his entire side of the family and that it will take me a long time to live it down. I just wanted my wedding dress to be perfect, but now I’m not sure what to do.