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The original was posted on /r/AmItheAsshole by /u/Alternative_Cold6444 on 2023-08-28 20:50:38.
throwaway for obvious reasons
So here’s the backstory: I (25F) and my best friend Ana (24F) have been inseparable since middle school. We’ve been through thick and thin together. Enter Ana’s boyfriend Todd (35M), and things have been… complicated.
Ana and Todd have been together for about three years now, but I’ve always felt uneasy about their relationship. There’s a significant age gap between them, and Todd seems intent on pulling her away from her family and friends. He’s been trying to convince her to uproot her life in Maine and move to Vegas. Maybe it’s just me but it felt like Todd picked up a map and picked the farthest state he could, and I made this exact grievance to Ana but she wasn’t trying to hear it.
Now, let me tell you about Todd. He’s generally a total douchebag. He’s the kind of guy who talks about wanting a traditional wife, something that is completely opposite to Ana’s personality and beliefs. It’s like he doesn’t really know her at all.
Things took a crazy turn when a random girl DM’d me on Instagram. She saw a picture of me and Todd at a party with a mutual friend and assumed I was his girlfriend. She sent me screenshots of texts, photos, and even video evidence of Todd with them (a literal sex tape). This was exactly two days before Todd proposed.
Fast forward to the proposal day, Todd invited both their families and friends for a surprise proposal. The thing is, nobody, not even myself, knew about this. He got down on one knee, and in my shock, I blurted out “He’s cheating on you!” I didn’t want Ana to make a massive mistake and get tied into a marriage with someone who clearly didn’t deserve her. Looking back, I totally realize that I could have chosen a better moment to bring this up.
Ana was absolutely devastated. She was upset with me for ruining her proposal and embarrassing her in front of everyone. I mean, I get it. It’s supposed to be a special moment, and I hijacked it in the worst possible way, but I think it was a necessary evil to get rid of Todd. It’s been a month and Ana refuses to talk to me, but I sent her the proof (minus the sex tape of course), and learned through a mutual friend that they’ve finally broken up.
TL;DR: Best friend Ana’s boyfriend Todd is sketchy, trying to pull her away from friends and family. Found out he’s cheating on her two days before his surprise proposal. I blurted out the truth during the proposal, and now Ana’s furious with me. AITA for wrecking the proposal?