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The original was posted on /r/AmItheAsshole by /u/TreatFamiliar2448 on 2023-08-28 17:55:41.

My oldest daughter and I had a disagreement recently. I was very disappointed in her and expressed this to her as well as my opinion that she is a terrible mother. She believes I am wrong to judge her so I want some perspective.

My daughter was married twice. Her first husband died when their children were 9, 5 and 4. She met her second husband 18 months later and remarried after a year of dating and created a blended family with his daughter who was 4 at the point of their marriage.

My oldest grandson was destroyed by his dad’s death. He was in therapy from the point of his dad’s death, something my husband and I had to pressure our daughter to seek because she was focused more on moving forward. But our grandson was hardly eating or sleeping and had difficulty in school. My daughter thanked me later for giving her the push. When my grandson started therapy he was asked to keep a diary to help him. It was something that took him several months to use more than once a month but he did grow to use it a lot. This diary was something for his eyes only. Not even the therapist read it. They just discussed anything he wished to.

My daughter had more children with her second husband and things were fine. When my grandson decided he wanted to attend college locally he asked if he could live with my husband and myself and we agreed. He moved in with us in mid June.

About a month later I noticed something was going on but I had no idea what. My other two grandchildren from my daughter’s first marriage told me that their mom and brother were fighting because their mom had stolen his therapy diary while they were visiting us and that she was angry about it’s contents. She was also mad at them because they defended their brother.

I spoke to my grandson who was both angry and sad. He told me his mom was never supposed to read those. I spoke to my daughter next. She ranted at me about how my grandson had written about her husband and other children, including her stepdaughter. She said he never wanted her to move on. That he had wanted her to be alone forever. That he didn’t even love his much younger siblings, just the two from her marriage to his dad. She said she couldn’t look at him. I asked her if it was true she stole the diary. She was stunned I would ask and told me I should be focused more on the contents, especially when some of it was written right before he moved in with me. I told her it was kept in a diary and never vocalized to any of them. She said that didn’t matter and I said it did. She told me I should be on her side. That he should be shunned for writing so many awful things. This is when I expressed my disappointment in her and called her a terrible mother.

AITA?