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The original was posted on /r/AmItheAsshole by /u/Entire-Acanthaceae71 on 2023-08-25 20:04:24.
My wife (44) and I (42) have two kids (5F and 7M). They are going into Kindergarten and 2nd grade.
Early May, my wife got fired after 22 years because her former employer had been hacked, ransomed and didn’t inform patients for 5 months of exposed personal data. My wife was vocal about their failures and was sent packing. I wasn’t angry as I told her to make an exit years prior, I saw it as an opportunity.
She immediately enrolled in a medical coding class and spent 3k on tuition but I still wasn’t angry as she had a plan and was motivated.
The state takes six weeks to determine she doesn’t qualify for unemployment because of how her employer notified the state. Total dick love of a failing company.
By middle of next week, she is working full time again, but she is still into this coding class.
The problem is there is no balance. She works from 7:30-4 (from home) and then studies until the kids bedtime. I work from 6 am (construction manager) until 3 and then I’m on parenting duty until bedtime. I generally cook and do bath and bedtime routine. She will come up and read to one of them at the very end.
Biggest problem is the kids are conditioned to go to bed at 10 pm. It’s convenient for her since she works at home and if the kids sleep she has less distractions, but school is starting and I’m starting to wear down. I have not a moment to breathe.
We got in a big fight about it cause I told her she has to help me change the bedtime and since school starting is the best opportunity.
She claims I’m not allowing her to study like she needs to.
I took it personal since I have been very accepting and easy about everything and when it’s my turn to ask for something, she acts like I’m bullying her and trying to stifle her plans. I just need her to balance better so that I don’t burn out because I want her to succeed.