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The original was posted on /r/AmItheAsshole by /u/throwra_amiuseless on 2023-08-25 18:26:40.

So I (27M) was putting up a surprise date for my wife (25F) to go out to our favorite Japanese restaurant.

My wife however, is on a call-type of work. She’s a babysitter for a friend of hers.

So here’s the issue. My wife mentioned to me that this weekend, she had to go watch her friends 3 kids overnight tonight and tomorrow night. She hasn’t been looking forward to it and has actually been dreading it. I was a little disappointed, but she’s making money, so I can’t be too upset.

But then, her car broke down yesterday night (Thursday). She can’t drive it and she’s ordering parts in today. She asked me to drive her to work today and she’s going to stay there until Sunday Morning. I was on a time crunch & still getting ready for work. I reluctantly agreed and took her to work before I had to get ready. She asked to grab a coffee and offered to buy me breakfast so I wouldn’t be so crunched for time. I kept looking at the time and got more and more peeved that my time to get ready was slipping away for a coffee & a 15 minute drive bc of her car. I got her there, but on the way, I mentioned the dinner. She mentioned my hair after being quiet most of the ride and I mentioned that I was going to get it cut as a surprise for a surprise date to the restaurant. She groaned and said she’s rather go for a date. I said it’s a little late for that, and dropped her off with a quick “I love you” from her & she grabbed her stuff. I did kinda snap at her and I know that’s why she was quiet.

Now she messaged me and said that she loved me & that she’s sorry for making me late, which I was. She also mentioned that she would have loved to go to dinner if she could get out of watching her friends kids overnight this weekend.

I know she’s probably feeling guilty for making me drive her (she has literally no other choice). I did make a comment that I’d make her just use a motorized pedal bike to bike the 15 minutes up hill.

So I’m asking you all. AITA for mentioning the surprise dinner?

UPDATE: First of all, ty to all the comments that just ripped off the bandaid and didn’t sugarcoat anything. I was definitely the asshole and I see that now. Her and I talked about it. She mentioned the passive aggressive comment I made and called me out on it, rightfully so. I saw where I went wrong and apologized. She did warn me in advance, and that she had to work this weekend. I’m more mad at myself now bc I knew I could have woken her and I up earlier and I didn’t, and I didn’t account for the extra time we needed and such. I was only 10 minutes late, which wasn’t crazy or anything. (I’m on my break right now). We have the date set for this next weekend and we’re fixing up her car on Sunday after she’s back! I’m also treating her to a coffee from the coffee stand on Sunday as well. She apologized too, but I assured her that her car breaking down was just unfortunate timing & she has nothing to apologize for. I shouldn’t have been so passive aggressive, & bitter with my comment. I did definitely mention the dinner as a petty payback, but she’s super excited to go, which makes my heart flutter. Her smile was adorable.

(And to those who have seen my previous AITA about Japan, we’re looking at flights to go! She’s very excited and working on her Japanese like crazy. I was just worried of her learning something that wouldn’t be used if we didn’t go, but she assured me she was learning to learn, not with the expectation of going to Japan. But it’s definitely a bonus.)