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The original was posted on /r/AmItheAsshole by /u/Comfortable_Plum2347 on 2023-08-25 17:13:55.
I (16f) have made it really awkward to be around my dad (46m) and have probably ruined my relationship with him. I know I’m kind of young to be on Reddit but I need help. I’m currently on my period and only use pads because tampons make me uncomfortable.
In January my family got a dog. I’m not really a fan of dogs but I tolerate her. When I replace a pad, I wrap it up in toilet paper or wrap it in the wrapper of the new pad and seal it closed with the little tape still on the wrapper. This has never been a problem until we got a dog. She likes going into the bathroom and taking my used pads out of the trash and ripping them apart. For the last couple months, I’ve had to chase her around the house and clean up ripped apart pads, but it’s never really bothered the rest of my family as long as I’m the one cleaning them up.
Today, the dog got to a pad I had thrown away earlier this morning. I caught her and threw the pad back in the trash and closed the bathroom door so she couldn’t get to the trash again. While I was in my bedroom, my dad confronted me about it. He told me that the dog kept getting my pads out of the trash and that it was a problem. I was confused and asked him what he wanted me to do about it since the only way to dispose of a pad is to throw it away. He told me that he wanted me to “grow the fuck up and start using tampons.” I was horrified. I told him that I wasn’t comfortable with tampons and that he didn’t get to talk to me about my period. He asked why not. I was speechless and had no idea what to say and just started crying from the embarrassment and shock and shut my bedroom door.
My mom (47f) is currently in Florida visiting family but she was my last resort. I’ll copy and paste the exact message I sent her. “Tell Dad to stay in his own fucking lane and leave me alone because he just told me I “had to grow up and start using tampons” so that the dog would stop eating my pads. He doesn’t get to say that to me, it’s not fair. I can’t help that my uterus sheds every month and I go through almost unbearable pain and his only remark is that I have to grow up and use something I’m not comfortable with.”
I know it sounds a bit bratty, but I was crying my eyes out and had no idea what to say. She’s furious with him. She texted back saying it was inappropriate that he said that to me and that it was a total dick move on his part and it wouldn’t happen again. I have no idea what she texted him but I haven’t seen or talked to him since. I think he’s probably mad at me for bringing my mom into this and I don’t know how to confront him. AITAH?
UPDATE: Thank you all so much for advice and being so understanding in the comments. I’ve scrolled through quite a bit and a lot of people are asking how using tampons would fix the situation and why using tampons is a sign of me “growing up.” Both my mom and twin sister use tampons and flush them. I’m the only one in the house that currently uses pads as my 8 year old sister obviously doesn’t have a period yet. He thinks that flushing tampons down the toilet is normal and that I just need to grow up and start using tampons like my twin.