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The original was posted on /r/AmItheAsshole by /u/PorNameMollySycamore on 2023-08-25 16:03:29.

I have a 5 year old daughter who recently moved from pre-K into the Kindergarten / after care at her school. When she moved up she met another little girl who is one year older. We’ll call her Penny (6). She talked about Penny for weeks, telling us about her, asking to have a playdate, etc.

About 2 weeks ago she came home and told us that she asked Penny to be her girlfriend when they get older, and she said yes. She has been telling all of our family since that Penny is her girlfriend. We didn’t make a big deal about it since she’s 5 years old and really doesn’t even know what that means. We have LGBTQ family and friends, so she knows that girls can marry girls, or boys can marry boys if that’s what makes them happy.

I had never met Penny or her mom before yesterday. When we got to pick up at the same time, i introduced myself and told her how fond of Penny my daughter was. She seemed annoyed and asked me to explain to my daughter that she’s behaving inappropriately.

Here’s the thing - we have discussed bodily autonomy with our kids forever. She knows she is not to hug or kiss or touch anyone that doesn’t want to be touched, just as no one is allowed to touch her against her will. I checked with the teachers, and they have not had any instances (or complaints from Penny’s mother) of my daughter hugging or kissing her. They said they always play together with dolls, the play kitchen, etc. Nothing out of the ordinary.

I don’t want to jump to conclusions and assume that her mom is uncomfortable with them both being girls… honestly, I took it as a harmless 5 year old crush on a new friend.

I sort of (uncomfortably) laughed off her moms request because I don’t know what I’m supposed to do. I’m not going to discipline my child for liking a new friend. She’s 5. She has never hugged or kissed this girl - and from my daughter’s perception, Penny is her friend and they play together at school. It’s not like she’s harassing another kid.

What am I supposed to do here?