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The original was posted on /r/AmItheAsshole by /u/Throwaway20238895 on 2023-08-25 14:32:55.
My (35m) GF (28F) and I have been together almost 2 years, living together for over 1 year.
Over the past 2 years she has lied to me AT LEAST 3 times. The first 2 times, she confessed weeks after lying to me “what really happened”. Both times, she lied because If she had told me what had really happened, she was worried that I would think she was cheating on me. Won’t go into more details than that.
Last night I caught her in the 3rd lie.
I’m out of town at my parents place dealing with a parent who is in all likelihood dying. My GF has had a rough week and planned a big night out with some of her girlfriends, all of whom are single. She promised to “wing-woman” for one in particular. They go to one bar, and then another new night club that recently opened in our town. We touch base a few times throughout the night. Everything seems fine.
Now it’s 2:20am, parent has had a rough night (hence why I’m still up), and I call GF to distract myself. She and her friend are clearly pretty drunk (as they should be) and having a great time. It is noticeably quieter than a nightclub in the background and I ask where she is. There’s an awkward pause and some hushed whispers in the background. She then tells me she still at a bar just briefly using the bathroom, then in a weird tone says she has to go…
I used to be bartender in this state and they have pretty hard and specific rules about being open after 2am.
My bullshit meter is pinging in the back of my head and I pull up google maps to see where she actually is (we both share our location with each other 24/7 and have done so for over a year).
Turns out she and her friend went back to a random apartment with a bunch of guys (and other girls) to party more.
I’m pretty hurt at this point. I have never lied to her once and have regularly asked her to tell me the truth in all scenarios, even when she thinks it’ll make me mad/upset. I contemplated just waiting for the morning and immediately breaking up with her, but for some reason decided to call her out in the moment, sent her a screenshot of her location and FaceTimed her.
By this point she has excused herself to the apartment balcony and tries to continue the lie. I stop her and beg her to just tell me what’s going on. Then she comes clean and says her friend met this guy at the club and wanted to go back with him but since her friend was fucked up, she didn’t want her to go to the guys place alone, and her friend told her to lie to me about where they were/what they were doing because it would seem like she was cheating. Obviously I’m not thrilled about all this, tell her I believe her but I wish that she had just told me that from the start, we say good night.
Needless to say, I didn’t sleep all night. I then get a text at 5:50 am stating that she’s back home now and is upset that I was “stalking her location when she was trying to look after her friend”.
I really do love this girl, but with all the lying, I don’t know if I can trust her.