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The original was posted on /r/AmItheAsshole by /u/Hopelessssssssss on 2023-08-25 13:28:12.

I (17F) live with my mom (44F). To begin with, our relationship has always been up and down and never consistent.

Today, I bought a boba tea and brought it home to watch an event, but I forgot to tell the staff to reduce the sugar amount, so it’s sweeter than usual. When I was drinking it, I randomly said it was “quite too sweet” and put it on the table because I was focusing on the event.

I didn’t notice that my mom took the boba tea and gave it to my brother. When I finally noticed, I asked her why did she give it to him without asking me first, and she said I said it was “too sweet” and therefore I meant I wasn’t drinking it anymore, and she said since this was my family it shouldn’t have mattered whether I was asked or not. I told her I had never said I wasn’t gonna drink it again, and told her (I also did several times in the past) she should have just asked me. She then started yelling at me about how selfish I was, boba tea was just a small thing, if I wasn’t willing to give it to my brother what could she expect from me when she got old, that I would abandon her as soon as I grew up.

I told her the problem wasn’t boba tea, I would always be willing to share as long as I was asked, but I had my boundaries and I didn’t like having my stuffs given to someone else without my permission. (I also never touch someone else’s stuffs or food if I didn’t ask beforehand). She kept telling me to shut the f*** up and complaining about how selfish and evil I was, and if I wanted equality then I should get out of the house. I told her it was disrespectful for my boundaries, and she replied that “There is no respect here, you didn’t respect your family by asking to be asked”

Out of the tantrum, she threw the boba tea on the floor then told me to clean it. I told her I was not going to clean it as my boundaries weren’t respected and I was not responsible for her emotions. She is now telling me that if I don’t clean it, she is going to beat me, but I don’t want to clean it as I did not throw it.

AITA for telling her that?