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The original was posted on /r/AmItheAsshole by /u/waddle_doodledoo on 2023-08-25 04:03:36.
My husband and I, have been having a major issue on how we should discipline our young daughter.
I grew up with very authoritarian parents who never allowed me to stay at anyone’s house or be out with friends unless it was in our own home. My partner grew up in a very relaxed household. His mother and father were divorced and his mother allowed him to go out with friends and come home late, sleep at other’s houses and even smoke weed at home.
Today, he came home from work, made dinner and we sat down to eat. My daughter didn’t want to eat her dinner and normally I am fine with it. If she says she is full, then she gets water and nothing else till bedtime (if she asks for food, I reheat her dinner). My husband reacts to this by slamming his hands on the table and taking her to bed(he always slams his hands on the table to startle her when she is starting a tantrum). It’s 5pm, she says no and that she doesn’t want to go, her face getting red. She starts scream crying, when he doesn’t listen to her telling him to put her down, she cries and pleads with me to help her. I ask her why she doesn’t want to eat, and in the middle of sobs she says she’s not hungry. He takes her to her room anyway and pushes her in and closes the door. I hear her from downstairs screaming to be let out and go up to find him holding the door closed so she won’t get out. I tell him, that is not how we handle things and if she is not hungry, we don’t feed her. He yells at me when I let her out, calling me weak and that our daughter will step all over me because I do this. He also yells that by me doing this, I am making him the bad guy. Am I the asshole?
Sorry for the long post.